15 Jun Switch Off Your Phone And Connect. Life Is Happening Now.
Checking our phones constantly is becoming like an obsession.
I’m sure some, including myself, can say they are guilty of the daily and senseless swiping and clicking and ‘liking.’ The need to post and share our lives, along with reading the updates of others, is a bizarre attachment we have and it is gaining momentum at a serious rate. Most importantly it is hurting our relationships and is devaluing what it means to be in the here and now. It’s time to switch off our phones and look up!
I met a girlfriend for coffee recently and as soon as she sat down she put her phone on the table – I had guessed she was expecting an important call…apparently not! She proceeded to ‘check’ it at every beep or ring. Just me or is that rude? She’d glance at the screen, read the text, text back a response and then attempt to recommence our fragmented conversation. I left feeling deflated and disappointed at our lack of connection.
This morning at my daughters swimming lesson, I sat bemused as I watched the majority of parents spend the entire class with their heads in their phones. Their little persons face would look up expectantly for praise from time to time – nope, no, nothing…too busy!
My husband and I were out at dinner last week and I noticed a gaggle of laughter and delight as a group of young women gathered for a ladies night. Anyhow, about an hour into the evening one of them asked the waiter to take a photo of the group. Every single one of them, from then on had their face in their phone. I am guessing they were filtering, framing and making the shot look perfect before uploading to social. To sit and watch the demise of this exchange was pretty sad.
We are not connecting.
See the thing is as we move in and out of paying attention, our conversations become light, losing much of its authentic possibility. Even as we claim to ‘connect’ more than ever before via text, e-mail and social media, we don’t really listen intently any more amid the constant interruption. Whether we’re texting with others who are not present, scanning the Internet or enjoying the instant gratification of Facebook likes, many of us now routinely interrupt face time with loved ones to scratch the itch of online distraction.
Of course, mobile technology does play an incredibly important role in all modern jobs (and life). Whether it’s checking in via email in the evening, while you’re on the move, or connecting with someone far away, smartphones enable us to plug in conveniently and efficiently. However there is a very real flipside. Our preoccupation with our phones encroaches on our time spent deepening relationships, connecting, seeing, listening reflecting and actually being in the moment.
A Nielsen study in 2013 found that 82 percent of Australians spend an average of 23.3 hours online each week – up from 2003 study where 73 percent of people spent an average of 6.7 hours online. That is an enormous chunk of time we have our face in a phone or device.
So how badly do you depend on your phone?
- Do you sleep with your phone beside your bed and check it as soon as you wake up?
- Are you likely to post something on social media and check for ‘likes’ 5 minutes later?
- Do you check emails or text in traffic?
- Do you review and respond to each incoming message, alert or beep?
- Do you have distracted conversations with family members?
Here are a few basic ideas around doing a digital detox.
- Turn off all your devices at a defined time each day say 9pm and have one day each week without access.
- Keep your phone in a glove box when you are driving or on silent or in your bag if you are socialising with friends.
- Get off line at least 1 hour prior to going to bed. Looking at your screen can reduce melatonin levels affecting your quality of sleep.
- Don’t have your phone in the bedroom or with you during meal times.
- When you are with your family and friends, as much as possible avoid accessing your technology – it’s not good manners.
So it turns out life is happening right now!
Without our phones to distract, we can experience moments. When we are freed up to take notice…there is a real beauty in noticing life. The benefits of real-time, face-to-face conversation – phones off the table – can’t be understated. The shortlist of what it fosters includes empathy, trust and respect, discovery, patience, gratitude, mindfulness and connection.
Am I willing to step back from technology and social media, and engage fully with the life in front of me instead? Well, let me just upload this blog to the internet, update my Facebook, check my Instagram, and I’ll get right back to you! Ha…you know what, I’m going to manage ‘it’ and not let ‘it’ manage me.
I am a Health and Wellness Consultant. I provide health and lifestyle solutions for busy women. Please contact me if you’d like to understand more about how I can empower you to gain more time, achieve greater balance, form healthy habits and feel like you are more aligned with your true self.