Tag: wellness

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Chaos to Calm

busy - women - tired - need sleep

Chaos to Calm

Do you feel like you are rarely on top of things? Are you overcommitted and overwhelmed? Do you feel like you are coming up short when it comes to doing enough, giving enough and being enough? Are you over it?

We all have these moments where in the chaotic craziness of life we lose ourselves for a moment. We can very easily get caught up in everyone else’s needs and ignore our own. See I used to live like this – all the time. This insane rushing and overcommitting was my version of ‘normal.’ It was my standard practise. But I was strung out and exhausted. Not any-more!

What I actually crave now is Space. Uncomplicated. Calm.

I knew I had to take stock. None of us are perfect, no matter what persona we project. We all have highs and lows where we need support, love, and a plan to move forward.

So why am I sharing all of this with you? I am hearing more and more from friends and clients who are crazily busy and caught up in the hustle, the juggle and the struggle and don’t know how to press pause and get off the roller coaster. People who are desperately seeking to step away from the busyness. So I thought I’d share a snippet of some of the things that work for me and hope that some of the strategies might resonate with you.

Be Real.

It’s okay to not be indestructible all the time and to feel flat, overwhelmed and disconnected. A lot of the time it will pass. Helping yourself through it is the important part.

Reconnect with your Vision.

Get deliberate about the life you want to create for yourself. When you live life true to your values and integrity, it becomes pretty clear when you are no longer in alignment. Getting clear about what is no longer serving you, your purpose or your wellbeing is super important. That feeling that just doesn’t feel right. Listen to it. Honor it.

Move.

It doesn’t mean you have to do a high intensity sweat session. Make the time to simply move your body. Get outside, breathe in the fresh air and gain a fresh perspective.

Detox – your body and your life.

Let the good in and let go of the things that aren’t working for you. Maybe you need a social media detox, or to take a good look at your relationship/friendships? We could really benefit by surrounding ourselves with people who genuinely love us for who we are, support us and genuinely care about us. On a lighter note you might like to clear the clutter. Get rid of the messiness, the paper piles, the out of date food in the pantry, the clothes you never wear…Space feels good. And the mind calms with the less clutter there is.

Routines.

I love routines and rituals. They help set me up for a good day. They are habit and they are the non-negotiable parts of my day, the stuff that I enjoy and I know makes me feel good. It’s simple and takes out hundreds of decisions every day that are unnecessary and can zap time and energy.
Engage your ‘Dream Team’. Lean in and lean on your support network….partner, family, friends. Call on your tribe. There is no beating authentic connection and sharing quality time with the people you love. A walk, a coffee, a hug, a chat, a cry or a laugh with them can be the greatest lift.

Plan a Break.

Everybody needs a little time away. Getting away from the everyday norm is essential for our coping, our health and wellbeing. If you have a family, you know that the time you have away on a holiday with them is always amazing as the focus is on enjoying the time together with no other distractions. Whether it is a girls weekend away or a longer holiday get it in the diary so you can have it to look forward to.

Now not for a second am I suggesting we all quit our jobs and spend our days meditating and sipping on green juice. For those of you that know me know I am driven, have a full life and love to embrace people, good times and new opportunities. What I am talking about is to stop needing everything to be bigger and better. Simplify, slow down and realign to create your own calm and happy place.

If you are over it and overwhelmed and stuck in a fog, it’s okay, there is another way. The reality is it starts with awareness and then small, deliberate, intentional steps. Start with focusing on what matters most to you…

If you know you need to make some changes but don’t know where to start, connect with me here for a complimentary ‘check in’ and let’s work out a plan together. Let me support you to connect more deeply, breathe more freely and live more simply.

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Tired all the time? Get some sleep.

Tired all the Time? Get some Sleep

So how did you sleep last night? What about the night before that? Did you go to bed before 10pm in a cool, darkened room and sleep without waking for 8 gorgeous hours? Did you wake naturally, feeling refreshed, energised, calm and positive? No? Really? Well this sadly is the reality for a very large number of people who in fact rarely experience this. Unfortunately the complaint of “I’m exhausted all the time” has become perfectly normal. How wrong is that!

I attended a talk the other night presented by the super brain and very awesome Dr Libby Weaver ‘Sort Your Sleep – Understanding Mood, Stress and Fatigue.’ It struck me just how many of us struggle with getting enough shut eye. Anyhow, it inspired me to share a bit about how absolutely central sleep is to good health.

Too busy to sleep.
No matter how tired we are sometimes, it feels like it’s impossible to get the sleep we need. Feeling that there aren’t enough hours in the day, we look for something to cut. And sleep is an easy target. Ironically, the more tired we are, combined with the sleep we are too busy to have, the more we come unravelled…big time!

Burning out.
I can speak from personal experience when I recall a time where anything over 5 hours felt like a bonus. Waking to an alarm after minimal sleep would send my adrenalin pumping. Like a robot I would sit up, tie my laces and head out into the dark to get my exercise in before the rest of the world woke. I was totally knackered. Wired and tired! I am here to tell you that if you are getting by on minimal sleep and feel like you are coping okay then it is time to reassess. Burning out is not the necessary price for accomplishment and success.

Just getting by.
Sleep is often the first thing to go when we are busy. You think you can just ‘get by’ with five hours sleep and you’ll be fine. Right? WRONG! We need sleep to function well. It is absolutely vital for our mental, physical and emotional well-being. Getting good-quality sleep (and enough of it) should be as high on your priority list as regular exercise and a healthy diet.

Why lack of sleep is bad for our health…REALLY BAD!
There is a wealth of evidence showing that too few zzzzs can have a significant and very negative impact on our health and wellbeing. Sleep is absolutely the key to better health. Sleep affects our physical and mental health enormously. A bad night’s sleep massively impacts alertness, concentration, memory, mood and productivity. It can also lower our immunity, contribute to weight gain, affect our hormone function and increase our risk of serious disease. Without enough sleep, we may well continue to function but we certainly do not continue to function well. Sleep is the key to feeling great and functioning at your personal best.

Today we know more about the science of sleep than ever before and how important it is to every aspect of our wellbeing. However, getting enough sleep seems harder and harder. It’s also the delusion that overwork, stress and burnout are the inevitable prices we must pay in order to succeed. There are some very real medical reasons why people may not be able to achieve deep restorative sleep, so if you feel like you have ‘tried everything’ then it may be a reason to consult your GP. For most of us though there is a great deal of hope around sorting our sleep.

Here are some suggestions for getting a great night’s sleep:

  • Sleep in a darkened room. This supports the body’s natural hormonal patterns to send you off to sleep and keep you that way.
  • Get to sleep by 10pm. Most of the body’s repair work is done prior to 3am so the more sleep you can get before this time, the fresher and more vital you will feel on waking.
  • Switch off! Computers, televisions and phones interfere with your natural sleep hormones and affect your sleep big time. Ideally have technology free time for at least an hour before bed.
  • Avoid doing work for 2 hours before bed and engaging your brain in this way.
  • Avoid stimulants in the afternoon. Eliminating caffeine after 12pm is a good idea.
  • Avoid excessive alcohol. Although alcohol is a sedative, it disrupts quality of sleep by causing us to wake when our blood sugar levels start to fall.
  • Keep the temperature in the bedroom at a comfortable level. Don’t overheat with piles of blankets and keep some fresh air coming into the room during the night.
  • Find a way to relax before bed. Restorative rituals like a bath, a cup of herbal tea, a book, some light stretching or even some slow deep breathing can help to clear your mind and enable you to fall into a deeper sleep.

So how much sleep do we need?
Seven to eight hours. Most experts consider this the optimal level of sleep and it should lead you to wake feeling rested and ready for the day ahead.

So it’s about time you got some serious shut eye.
It is so important to schedule maximum (quality) sleep time for yourself if you want to start feeling amazing from the inside out. Rather than trudging through your day, wake up feeling calm, clear and rested. There is a new kind of normal – just go to bed!

I would like to challenge you to find one thing you could do differently over the next week to set yourself up for a better nights sleep. I’d love to hear what works for you. Contact me here.

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Are you an ‘All or Nothing’ person?

Are you an 'All or Nothing' Person?

The problem with ‘All or Nothing’ thinking is that either you’re all – or you’re nothing. There is no in-between. This approach to life can really stifle our happiness and fulfilment and tends to explode into self -criticism and feelings of hopelessness.

Letting go of extremes can really improve your health and wellness.

I get it. It can be challenging to always eat well, diligently exercise, rest enough…add this to the every-day responsibilities of working, managing a home, giving to relationships, contributing to society and being a decent human…it can be overwhelming and exhausting.

‘All or Nothing’ people swing between both ends of the extremes:

  • They do restrictive diets to punish themselves after indulging on a holiday.
  • They swear off all alcohol for ‘Feb Fast’ or ‘Ocsober’ only to participate in huge drinking sessions for the remainder of the year.
  • After having a row of chocolate they think, “Oh well I’ve blown it”, and so decide to eat the entire block.
  • They sign up for 30 days of yoga in a row to make up for 3 months of complete inactivity.
  • They do a green juice cleanse for a week after a weekend of indulgence and binging.

If we embraced moderation a little more in our lives we wouldn’t feel the need to turn to extreme weight loss challenges, diets and ‘detoxes’ to make up for our lifestyle.

So you miss a workout one morning because you have to be at work early or you have a row of chocolate after dinner. The thing is, missing a workout or having a piece of cake or chocolate doesn’t mean you’ve blown your whole regime. Being affected by life’s little bumps doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

So many clients I see are stuck in this ‘All or Nothing’ cycle. This idea that if something is not done perfectly then the pursuit is useless.

Maybe you or someone you know is like this…Before they (re)start their new diet the pantry gets cleaned out, they eat a few last-hurrah meals, drink a few last–hurrah wines. A new exercise regime may start with the same sort of enthusiasm, new active-wear and renewed promises to self of daily workouts. But if you are pressuring yourself to be perfect, it won’t be long until you decide you’re weak or that your life/family/job/whatever is conspiring to keep you out of shape. And then, you give up. You quit!

Whilst these intentions are great and we need to be scheduling time for intentional exercise and paying attention to the quality and quantity of food we eat, this ‘All or Nothing’ approach sets the bar so high that it can never be reached and in doing so, we set ourselves up to fail. Cue feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, restriction and feelings of hopelessness!

We need to be a little bit flexible, especially at the beginning of a lifestyle change. Yes, it’s important to make a plan and do your best to stick with it. But if you do stumble, dust yourself off. Life happens…carry on. A slip up does not need to be the undoing of our health. It is just a tiny part of the big picture.

It really is about time we start being a little kinder to ourselves for the sake of our health. Time we embraced a little more moderation instead of guiltily swinging between ‘All or Nothing’ extremes. I provide guidance towards health and lifestyle solutions for busy women. If you would like some support towards making some tweaks toward a sustainable and balanced wellness plan then contact me. I would love to help you find what feels right for you.

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