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When Life Feels Heavy: Finding Your Steady Ground in the Messy Middle

When Life Feels Heavy:
Finding Your Steady Ground in the Messy Middle

If you’re feeling stretched thin, running on empty, or wondering how on earth you’ll keep all the plates spinning, I see you.

This season of life, “messy middle age”, is certainly not for the faint-hearted. You might be raising teens who swing between independence and chaos, supporting ageing parents who need more from you, managing work, relationships, hormones, and somehow still trying to keep your head above water.

It’s no wonder so many of us feel frayed.

You wake up already tired. Your mind is running before your feet hit the floor — worrying about your kids, your parents, your finances, your health, your marriage. You wonder if you’ve missed something, if you could be doing more, if you’re failing somehow.

Please hear this: you are not alone.

I’m in this season too. Both as a mum and as a counsellor, I see (and live) the emotional load so many of us are quietly carrying. It’s real. It’s relentless. And it can feel like there’s no room left for you in the middle of it all.

Even when life feels impossibly full, there are small, gentle ways to care for yourself without turning everything upside down.
Simple things that help you breathe again, remind you that you matter too, and restore the capacity to keep showing up, not out of obligation, but from a place of calm and care.

Start Your Day with Presence, Not Pressure

If sitting down with a cup of tea sounds impossible, that’s okay. Try something simpler, open a window while you brush your teeth, take three slow breaths before you check your phone, or feel the water on your skin in the shower.

It’s simply about noticing on purpose what’s happening in the here and now. Those tiny moments of awareness can set the tone for the rest of your day.

Let Your Body Lead

When your mind is racing, come back to your body. Take a short walk, roll your shoulders, run cool water over your wrists, splash your face, and slow your breathing.

These small, physical resets send a message of safety to your body and help your nervous system exhale.

Share What’s Heavy Sooner

You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. Talk to someone, a friend, partner, or counsellor, before it gets too much.

When you give your feelings words, they stop owning you. Talking things through helps you make sense of what’s swirling around inside. It releases some of the pressure, offers perspective, and reminds you that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling.

Sometimes just being heard, without judgment or the need to fix, is enough to help your body exhale.

Lower the Bar on Hard Days

Some days, “good enough” really is perfect. Skip the workout, leave the washing, cancel what you can, make an easy dinner.

Success doesn’t always look like productivity; sometimes it’s simply getting through the day.

Reconnect with Tiny Joys

Fresh sheets. A swim. A coffee. Standing barefoot in the grass.

These small, sensory moments remind your body of calm and your mind of what’s still good.
They might not change everything, but they help you remember that there’s still light to be found, even on the hard days.

Release It

When your body feels wound up, your chest tight, or your head too full to think straight — help it move.

Write it down, go for a walk, stretch, or shake it out. Let what’s been sitting heavy inside find a way out.

Releasing it from your head and through your body helps quiet the noise and ease the weight you’ve been carrying.

No Quick Fix, But There Is Support

There’s no quick fix for this chapter; it’s messy and complex, but you don’t have to walk through it alone.

If you’re feeling depleted, resentful, or like you’ve lost sight of yourself in the mix of everyone else’s needs, it might be time to have a conversation that’s just for you.

Counselling isn’t just for times of crisis; it’s a space to breathe, reflect, and realign. A place to gather tools that help you feel calmer, more capable, and better supported, not just to survive the hard days, but to move through them with more ease.

It’s where you can reconnect with your strength, your values, and what truly matters most.

Please remember this: no one has it all together.

We all have struggles. The more we soften and share our stories, the more we realise how human it all is — and how compassion and kindness, toward ourselves and each other, can make everything feel a little lighter.

Ready to Feel a Little Lighter?

If this season feels heavy and you’d like to explore what support could look like for you right now, I’d love to help.

Enquire here or reach out via email to start the conversation.

In the meantime, take good care.

Megan x

Counsellor & Wellbeing Coach

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When Life Feels Hard: Simple Regulation Tools Every Teen Should Know

When Life Feels Hard:
Simple Regulation Tools Every Teen Should Know

We often expect teens to “use their words” or “make good choices” when they’re overwhelmed, but the truth is, a d nervous system can’t do either.

Why teens get overwhelmed so easily

  • Their brain’s emotion centre (amygdala) is highly reactive
  • Their prefrontal cortex (decision-making) is still developing
  • Stress hormones spike more easily and settle more slowly during adolescence
  • They haven’t finished building a strong internal toolkit for managing emotional surges

So what is regulation?

Regulation is the process of calming the body so the brain can come back online. When teens are in fight, flight, or freeze mode, they need body-based tools to return to feeling safe and grounded.

Four simple tools every teen can try:

  1. Long Exhale Breathing – Inhale for 4, exhale for 6.
  2. Butterfly Tapping – Cross arms over chest and tap slowly and firmly left, right, left, right. This rhythmic movement helps the body feel safe and grounded during stress or anxiety.
  3. Cold Water Reset – Splashing cold water on the face or holding an ice cube can interrupt a stress response and bring the body back to the present moment.
  4. Drop and Shake – Literally shake out your arms, legs, and shoulders. It may feel silly, but movement helps discharge built-up stress energy from the body.

How to make it feel normal (not cringe):

  • Model it yourself – “I’m doing a breath reset, want to try it with me?”
  • Normalise as a life skill – “Everyone, including me benefits from calming tools.”
  • Make it visual – Create a small “calm kit” with sensory items or written tools they can grab when needed

Helping teens regulate isn’t about eliminating stress, it’s about building resilience and showing them they can manage it. That empowerment changes everything.

Want to bring these tools to your school or parent community?

If you’re an educator, a wellbeing lead or parent who wants to bring this practical offering to your school, community or home, I run workshops that make nervous system regulation relatable, engaging, and practical for both teens and parents. Learn more here.

If you are looking for some 1:1 wellbeing and counselling support for your young person, or you’d like some help with practical tools, strategies and resources to better support your child through this challenging time. You can contact me here.

In the meantime, take good care,

Megan x

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Feeling Lost with Your Teens’ Screen Time? Here’s Where to Start

Feeling Lost with Your Teens' Screen Time?
Here’s Where to Start

If it feels like screens have taken over your home, you’re not alone.

For many families, it’s a constant push-and-pull, teens testing limits, parents trying to protect sleep and wellbeing, and everyone feeling stuck. It is not that you’re failing, it’s that this is hard. We didn’t grow up with this level of technology, so of course, it feels overwhelming and uncertain.

What matters most isn’t being perfect, it’s being a steady guide. Your teen doesn’t need you to have all the answers, but they do need you to set boundaries that protect their health and wellbeing.

Why Screens Are So Hard to Switch Off

Social media, gaming, and streaming are designed to hold attention, with endless notifications, likes, and quick rewards. Combine this with the natural teen sleep cycle (they feel alert later at night), and you’ve got the perfect recipe for late nights and tired mornings.

Recent research confirms what many parents see:

  • Too much late-night screen time results in poor sleep, higher stress, and lower mood.
  • Girls are especially vulnerable, with higher risks of disrupted sleep and depressive symptoms.
  • It’s not just about ‘how many hours’ teens are online, it’s about problematic use (doom-scrolling, gaming binges, constant notifications). This is what drives the most significant risks.

What’s ‘Healthy’ Phone Time?

There’s no single magic number, but here’s a practical guide you can use:

Age

Daily Phone Time (Recreational)

Notes

10–12 yrs

Around 1–1.5 hrs

Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight.

13–15 yrs

Up to 2 hrs

Balance with sport, hobbies, and in-person friends.

16–17 yrs

2–3 hrs

More independence but still protect sleep + device-free times.

The goal isn’t perfection; it’s making sure screens don’t replace sleep, activity, or real-world connection.

How to track it:

  • iPhone: Settings → Screen Time
  • Android: Settings → Digital Wellbeing
  • Apps like Forest (focus), Freedom (blocking), FamiSafe (family-friendly limits)

 How to Be Collaborative and Be the Parent

Research shows the best outcomes happen when teens are involved in the conversation, but parents remain the decision-makers. Collaboration builds trust and buy-in, while structure provides safety.

  1. State your role clearly
    Kids don’t need another friend, they need parents to hold the line. Try:
    “I love and care about you, and it’s my job to make sure you’re getting enough sleep… That means we’re setting limits around screens.”
  2. Set boundaries together, without handing over the reins
  • Agree on a nightly switch-off time (and stick to it).
  • Keep devices out of bedrooms, a non-negotiable.
  • Protect one daily family activity as screen-free (like mealtime)
  1. Offer real alternatives
    Don’t just remove the phone, replace it with things they’ll enjoy: sport, creative outlets, or time with friends.
  2. Model what you expect
    If you’re on your phone at dinner, they’ll take that as the standard.
  3. Keep the focus on wellbeing
    Frame boundaries around benefits, not punishment:
    “I’ve noticed when you are getting enough sleep, you’re calmer, happier, and more focused.”

Quick Wins You Can Put in Place This Week

  • Move all charging to a central station overnight.
  • Turn off non-essential notifications.
  • Try no screens 30 minutes before bed for 5 nights and see if you both notice a difference.
  • Make one daily family activity (like dinner) completely screen-free.

Healthy screen use isn’t about banning devices. It’s about teaching balance, protecting wellbeing, and building strong habits for life.

Yes, it’s tough; many parents feel like the horse has already bolted. It’s a very different world from the one we grew up in, and it’s normal to feel unsure or to be afraid of what it means for your young person’s wellbeing. The thing is that your teen can’t do this on their own. They need you to step up and be steady, confident, and collaborative, to guide the way.

If you’d like support putting these ideas into practice, I’d love to work alongside you to create a practical plan that protects your teen’s health and turns screen-time struggles into calmer conversations, a plan that feels right for your family.

You can get in touch here.

In the meantime, take good care.

Megan x

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Helping Teens Find Their Calm (Even When Life Feels Like A Lot)

Helping Teens Find Their Calm (Even When Life Feels Like A Lot)

Teenagers today are navigating more than ever, academic pressure, social comparison, friendship shifts, identity exploration, tech overload… and all of it while their brain and body are still developing.

It’s no surprise that many of our young people feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck. What is surprising is that so few of them have ever been taught what’s actually happening in their nervous system when stress hits or how to calm it down.

That’s exactly what my new school-based workshop aims to change.

“In Control. A Toolkit for Stress, Overwhelm, Focus & Feeling Better” is a workshop I’m now delivering to high school students.

It’s practical, empowering, and designed to help teens feel steadier, not through lectures or overwhelm, but through hands-on experience and science-backed tools they can actually use.

In this workshop, students learn:

  • What happens in the brain and body when stress, anxiety, or overwhelm hit
  • Why common reactions like shutdown, avoidance, or irritability make sense
  • How they can actively calm their nervous system in moments of pressure

We then explore practical, body-based tools that can be used anytime, anywhere, from long exhale breathing and grounding exercises to tapping sequences, cold water resets, and affirmation practices. Students are invited to try each tool, reflect on what resonates, and build their own ‘Calm Kit’ to take away.

This isn’t just about coping in the moment, it’s about giving young people lifelong skills in emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience.

Because language and support at home matter, too, I’ve created a follow-up Parent Seminar to accompany the student session.

It’s called “Supporting Teens Through Stress. What to Say, What to Do, What Really Helps” and it equips parents and carers with insights into their teen’s nervous system, practical ways to co-regulate, and a deeper understanding of the exact tools their child learned. That way, the language of calm isn’t something teens carry alone, it becomes a shared conversation.

If you’re an educator, wellbeing lead or parent who wants to bring this practical wellbeing offering to your school community or home, I’d love to connect. You can contact me here.

Let’s help our young people and us as the adults who care for them feel more in control, supported, and steady. There is no more important job.

Megan x

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Supporting Your Teens Through Exam Stress

Supporting Your Teens Through Exam Stress

As assessment and exam time approaches, many teens are quietly carrying an invisible burden. You might notice a change in their mood, snappiness, withdrawal, tears, or complete shutdown. 

Beneath the behaviour is often a mix of fear, pressure, and comparison, things they might not have the words for yet. And as parents, it’s hard. We want to help. We want to fix it, but what they usually need most is presence, not pressure.

They might be wondering:
• “What if I can’t do it?”
• “What if I let everyone down?”
• “Why am I the only one feeling this way?”

What’s really going on

Teen brains are still developing the skills needed to manage stress, things like emotional regulation, time management, and handling uncertainty. When stress peaks, the thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) can take a back seat, and the survival part (amygdala) takes over. That’s why your teen might snap at small things, feel foggy, or shut down altogether.

Stress isn’t always a bad thing, in small doses, it can help with focus and motivation. However, when it builds without support or recovery, it can lead to anxiety, poor sleep, and even physical symptoms. The key is balance: steady routines, small moments of calm, and feeling seen and supported.

What Actually Helps

Here are some simple, ways to show up for your teen in the lead-up to exams and assessments:

  1. Keep perspective in the room

Remind them (gently and often) that exams are just one part of life, not the whole story. They’re learning how to try, how to cope, how to bounce back.

  1. Offer support, not pressure

Instead of “Have you done enough revision?”, try “Is there anything I can do to make today feel easier?” or “Do you want to talk something out?”

  1. Help create a rhythm that soothes, not spikes
  • Sleep matters more than late-night cramming (aim for 8+ hours)
  • A short walk or 20 minutes outside can do wonders for focus and mood
  • Start the day with a protein-rich breakfast
  • Keep evenings calm: warm lights, soft cues to wind down, less screen time before bed
  1. Model rest and boundaries yourself

Let them see you pausing, saying no to overload, and making time for rest. It gives them permission to do the same.

Practical Ways to Support Their Wellbeing

  • Keep a calm, quiet space available for study
  • Stock the fridge with easy, nourishing snacks
  • Suggest a screen-free walk or quiet reset together
  • Run them a bath, light a candle, and let the world pause for a while
  • Sit beside them with no need to talk, your calm presence matters
  • Say, “I’m here if you need to talk it out. No pressure.”

From one parent to another

I’m walking this path too, my daughter is sitting her HSC, and I’ve learnt that the best support isn’t perfect or polished. It’s the quiet presence. It’s running a bath, a hug, sitting beside her, or just listening without trying to solve it.

It’s not about pep talks or productivity hacks. It’s about being steady when things feel wobbly, letting them know without a doubt that they’re more than the sum of their results.

Being there, lovingly and calmly, without condition. That’s what they’ll remember most.

Megan x

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Sleep, Screens and Mood Swings: What’s Really Going on with Your Teen?

Sleep, Screens and Mood Swings: What’s Really Going on with Your Teen?

If your teen seems constantly exhausted, emotionally up and down, and glued to their screen, it’s not a sign you’re failing as a parent. It’s a sign they’re human… and going through one of the most complex and misunderstood developmental stages of life.

Adolescence is a time of massive brain and body changes, and many of the things that frustrate us as parents, like late nights, morning meltdowns, screen habits, mood swings, actually have solid science behind them. When we understand what’s going on beneath the surface, it becomes easier to respond with empathy, not just react in frustration.

This blog unpacks what’s really going on with your teen’s sleep, screen use, and emotional wellbeing, and offers practical, realistic steps to support healthier rhythms at home.

The Sleep Shift: Why Teens Stay Up Late

During puberty, your teen’s internal clock (circadian rhythm) shifts by 1–2 hours, meaning they naturally feel sleepy later at night and want to sleep in longer in the morning. This isn’t about bad habits, it’s biology.

However, school start times haven’t shifted. So, they’re stuck in a cycle of chronic sleep deprivation, which affects mood, focus, memory, learning, and emotional regulation. Teens need around 8–10 hours of sleep per night, but most fall short, especially during the school week.

What Screens Are Really Doing

It’s not just about blue light. The content and stimulation from screens, rapid scrolling, gaming, TikTok loops, late-night group chat, keep their brains alert when they should be winding down.

Screens before bed suppress melatonin, delay sleep onset, and stimulate the nervous system. Add the pressure of social media and the “just five more minutes” mindset, and it’s easy to see how sleep gets derailed.

Research shows that even 30 minutes of screen use before bed increases sleep latency and reduces sleep quality, making teens more irritable, anxious, and foggy the next day.

Why Mornings Feel So Hard

Teens often hit deep sleep just as their alarm goes off. So when you’re trying to wake them, you’re interrupting a brain that’s not ready to function yet.

Try this instead:

  • Gently open curtains for natural light
  • Avoid abrupt wakeups 
  • Let them reorient with calm 
  • Build in a “buffer zone” before demands begin

These small changes reduce cortisol spikes and ease them into the day.

How to Encourage Healthier Sleep & Screen Habits (Without the Battles)

When your teen is up late on their phone and struggling in the morning, it’s tempting to go straight into shutdown mode, “Give me the phone!” but this usually backfires. Instead, try these practical, connection-based strategies that may actually work:

Start with a conversation, not a command

Rather than setting a hard rule, open a two-way chat:

“I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling tired and flat lately. Do you think changing anything around sleep or screen time might help?”

This keeps them from going straight into defensive mode and helps them feel part of the solution.

Frame it as an experiment

Invite them to try something different for a week, like turning screens off 30–60 minutes before sleep, and see how they feel.

“What if we gave a no-phones-after-9:30 plan a go just for a week and see if it helps?”

Small changes are less overwhelming and more sustainable.

Make screen-free wind-down time appealing

Replace the scroll with something soothing:

  • Warm shower or bath
  • Herbal tea or hot chocolate
  • Reading or a chill playlist
  • Low light and comfy surroundings

Help them find what actually works for their nervous system, not just what you think should.

Set up a tech-free sleep environment

Make it easy for them to unplug:

  • Create a shared charging station in the kitchen
  • Use “Do Not Disturb” or night mode from 9pm
  • Keep bedrooms dim and screen-free where possible

Do it as a family, so it doesn’t feel like a punishment.

Use collaboration over control

You could try:

“I know sleep affects everything, from your mood to school to sport. What’s one thing we could tweak this week to help you feel better in the morning?”

This helps them take ownership instead of reacting against you.

Keep your cool

They might push back. That’s normal. Stay calm, hold the boundary, and come back to the why:

“I’m not trying to be the phone police; I just want you to feel your best.”

You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. This is about meeting your teen where they’re at, building trust, and creating a rhythm that works better for everyone.

Sleep is foundational to your teen’s mood, mental health, and ability to cope. Supporting better habits around rest and tech isn’t about control, it’s about helping them feel more balanced, calm, and capable.

Keep showing up, staying consistent, and remain curious. Every small shift makes a difference.

Megan x

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Mother’s Day, Expectations & the Mum Who Keeps Showing Up

Mother’s Day, Expectations & the Mum Who Keeps Showing Up

A quiet kind of pressure can sneak in around Mother’s Day.

We might tell ourselves not to expect too much.
We remind ourselves that they’re teenagers, that they’re busy, and that they show love in their own awkward ways.
We say we’re fine with whatever the day brings.

But underneath? We might still feel the ache.

An ache for a moment of recognition.
An ache for a warm hug.
An ache for someone to see just how hard we’re trying, even when we’re stumbling our way through the mess of parenting teens.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

Like so much of parenting, Mother’s Day can be a mix of emotions.
Love, gratitude, pride, tangled with exhaustion, disappointment, and the ever-present question: Am I doing this right?

Some years it feels joyful. Other years, you’re scraping yourself together just to get through it and that doesn’t make you ungrateful, it makes you human.

What You Can Expect This Mother’s Day

It might not look like a breakfast tray with fresh juice and a handwritten card.
It might look more like a muttered “Happy Mother’s Day” on their way out to work or sport

And still, you are worthy of love, celebration, and rest.

Whether your Sunday is noisy, quiet, lonely, messy, or magical…
Whether you’re celebrated or barely acknowledged…
Your worth as a mother is not defined by how they show it.

It’s defined by how you show up.
Day in, day out.
Through slammed doors, silent drives, school stresses, and all the “I’m fines.”

A Few Things to Remember this Weekend

You’re allowed to want more.

Wanting to feel seen and appreciated doesn’t make you needy. It makes you human. Let that be okay.

You’re not doing it wrong if it feels hard.

Parenting teens is messy, unpredictable, and deeply emotional. It’s not you, it’s the stage.

Your effort is never wasted.

Every chat, every lift, every packed lunch, every gentle nudge to keep going lands somewhere, even if they don’t say it now.

There is no perfect way to do this.

You’re learning as you go, just like them, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay, it’s real.

It’s okay to make space for you.

You matter, too. Try to carve out a little moment of peace for yourself this weekend. A beach walk, a book, a nap, a coffee in the sunshine, whatever feels good.

So This Mother’s Day…

Go gently.
Lower the bar.
Take the pressure off.
Let the day unfold however it unfolds.

And if you’re feeling a bit wobbly, tender or teary, you’re not alone there either. 

You are raising a whole human. You’re shaping a life.
You are holding the emotional weight of a family and still managing to show up with love.

You’re doing so much more than you realise.

You are seen. You are valued. You are doing enough.

With love this Mother’s Day. 

Megan x

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When it’s tense at home: how to steady yourself and support your teen

When it’s tense at home: how to steady yourself and support your teen

You’re not alone if you’re feeling tension at home right now.

Whether it’s holidays, the general pace of life, or just the nature of raising a teen, things can feel stretched. Conversations spark too easily, patience wears thin, and you can feel that no matter how much you’re doing, it’s never enough.

I get it. I’m not writing this from a place of theory; I’m right in it with you, as a mum and as a counsellor. And let’s be real: this season of parenting is hard. It’s relentless, often thankless, and it can feel like you’re navigating constant tension while trying to keep your own head above water.

The good news is, there are ways to steady yourself, create space for connection, and soften some of that tension, even in the hardest moments.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Small, consistent actions matter more than you realise. Here are some ideas:

  1. Regulate yourself first

Before you engage, pause. Breathe. Even a few seconds of steadying yourself before responding can make all the difference. Teens feed off our energy, and so when you hold steady, you help to settle the whole dynamic.

  1. Remember: their reactions often reflect their internal storms

What looks like attitude or defiance is usually a sign of overwhelm, frustration, or fear. Try to separate their intensity from your response. It’s often not about you.

  1. Keep connection moments small and frequent

Look for simple, easy windows for connection. It might be a quick chat over breakfast, driving in the car, or while walking the dog… Not every conversation needs to be heavy or deep, small moments build trust.

  1. Prioritise listening over fixing

I know how strong the urge is to jump straight to solution mode. Often, what they need most is for us to just listen, without judgement, without advice. Curiosity over control.

  1. Model what calm looks like

Taking care of yourself is so important. Move your body, get outside, eat nourishing food, take proper breaks. When you look after yourself, you model healthy coping skills for your teen too.

  1. Acknowledge the tension

If things feel strained, it’s okay to acknowledge it: “I know things have felt a bit tense between us. I want us to work through it.” Naming it calmly opens the door for connection without blame.

  1. Respect is a two-way street

It’s a big one. Teens are more likely to respect our boundaries when they feel their own perspective is respected too. Even if you disagree, validate their feelings when you can.

I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this.

Parenting a teenager isn’t about getting it right all the time. It’s about showing up, staying steady, and keeping the connection open, even when it feels messy and hard.

These small, everyday actions matter. They ease the tension, open the lines of communication, and remind your teen (and yourself) that you’re on the same team, even on the toughest of days.

If today feels like a hard day, start with one small thing. Breathe. Steady yourself. Take the smallest window of connection when it appears.

You’re doing better than you think.

With you,

Megan x

I’ll be sharing more tools and resources for parents soon, simple, practical supports to help you and your teen navigate these years with a little more ease. Stay tuned.

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Teen Moodiness… or Something More?

When it’s tense at home: how to steady yourself and support your teen

You’re not alone if you’re feeling tension at home right now.

Whether it’s holidays, the general pace of life, or just the nature of raising a teen, things can feel stretched. Conversations spark too easily, patience wears thin, and you can feel that no matter how much you’re doing, it’s never enough.

I get it. I’m not writing this from a place of theory; I’m right in it with you, as a mum and as a counsellor. And let’s be real: this season of parenting is hard. It’s relentless, often thankless, and it can feel like you’re navigating constant tension while trying to keep your own head above water.

The good news is, there are ways to steady yourself, create space for connection, and soften some of that tension, even in the hardest moments.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Small, consistent actions matter more than you realise. Here are some ideas:

  1. Regulate yourself first

Before you engage, pause. Breathe. Even a few seconds of steadying yourself before responding can make all the difference. Teens feed off our energy, and so when you hold steady, you help to settle the whole dynamic.

  1. Remember: their reactions often reflect their internal storms

What looks like attitude or defiance is usually a sign of overwhelm, frustration, or fear. Try to separate their intensity from your response. It’s often not about you.

  1. Keep connection moments small and frequent

Look for simple, easy windows for connection. It might be a quick chat over breakfast, driving in the car, or while walking the dog… Not every conversation needs to be heavy or deep, small moments build trust.

  1. Prioritise listening over fixing

I know how strong the urge is to jump straight to solution mode. Often, what they need most is for us to just listen, without judgement, without advice. Curiosity over control.

  1. Model what calm looks like

Taking care of yourself is so important. Move your body, get outside, eat nourishing food, take proper breaks. When you look after yourself, you model healthy coping skills for your teen too.

  1. Acknowledge the tension

If things feel strained, it’s okay to acknowledge it: “I know things have felt a bit tense between us. I want us to work through it.” Naming it calmly opens the door for connection without blame.

  1. Respect is a two-way street

It’s a big one. Teens are more likely to respect our boundaries when they feel their own perspective is respected too. Even if you disagree, validate their feelings when you can.

I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this.

Parenting a teenager isn’t about getting it right all the time. It’s about showing up, staying steady, and keeping the connection open, even when it feels messy and hard.

These small, everyday actions matter. They ease the tension, open the lines of communication, and remind your teen (and yourself) that you’re on the same team, even on the toughest of days.

If today feels like a hard day, start with one small thing. Breathe. Steady yourself. Take the smallest window of connection when it appears.

You’re doing better than you think.

With you,

Megan x

I’ll be sharing more tools and resources for parents soon, simple, practical supports to help you and your teen navigate these years with a little more ease. Stay tuned.

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Why Parenting Teens Feels so Hard

Why Parenting Teens Feels so Hard

Parenting a teenager is one of the most challenging roles you’ll ever do. The emotional highs and lows, the push for independence, the moments of connection followed by complete shutdown…it’s exhausting, confusing, and sometimes heartbreaking. Understanding what’s happening inside our teenager’s brain can really help. 

Teenagers aren’t just being difficult for the sake of it. 

Teenagers’ brains are still developing well into their mid-twenties, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which is the part responsible for reasoning, impulse control, and emotional regulation. This means their emotions take charge before their reasoning brain fully catches up, and they act on impulse, react instinctively, and often struggle to regulate big feelings. Their developing brain prioritises immediate responses over careful reflection, which is why they may lash out, shut down, or make decisions that seem irrational to us.

This understanding doesn’t always make it easier in the heat of the moment, but it does give us a new lens through which to see their behaviour. When we shift from frustration to curiosity, from reacting to supporting, we create the kind of connection that keeps the lines of communication open, which is something our teenagers need now more than ever.

Meeting Your Teen Where They Are At.

So how do we parent with more understanding and less power struggle? Here are some small but effective ways we can shift our approach and in turn, strengthen connection:

  • Be the calm in their storm – When emotions run high, try not to match their energy. Take a deep breath, pause, and respond with curiosity rather than reactivity.
  • Validate their feelings – Even if something seems small to you, it might feel monumental to them. A simple “I am hearing that’s really tough for you” can help them feel heard.
  • Pick your battles – Not every issue needs to be a confrontation. Prioritise connection when you can.
  • Encourage independence, but stay available – Teens push for independence, but deep down, they want to know we are still around. Let them know you’re always there without forcing a conversation.
  • Take care of yourself—Parenting a teenager is emotionally demanding and can also be draining. Prioritise your own wellbeing so that you can show up for those you really care about. This might look like a walk outside, a coffee with a friend, or simply a moment to breathe before responding.

The Small Glimmers of Hope.

In the messiness of adolescence, there are moments of connection that remind us that our kids still need us, love us, and want to belong. It might be a fleeting smile, a random text, or a late-night chat when their guard is finally down. These small glimmers of hope are worth noticing and holding onto.

Parenting through this stage isn’t about getting it perfect; it’s about showing up with warmth, presence, and a willingness to understand. If you’re finding this season overwhelming, you’re not alone. Parenting is usually really hard when you’re doing a good job of it. It means you’re trying, you’re engaged, you care deeply, and you’re working hard to guide your teen through one of the most challenging stages of life.

If you’re feeling stuck or want to explore ways to support your teen (and yourself) better, I’d love to help. Don’t hesitate to reach out. 

In the meantime, take care. 

Megan x

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