Hyperstriving. It's a thing!
I feel compelled to share…this concept of hyperstriving. I first met Talya Rabinovitz, a Psychologist and founder of ‘The Healthy Mind Project’ at a Wellness event late last year. Talya talked about this thing called ‘hyperstriving’ and my ears pricked up and there I was nodding along to everything she was saying… I am without doubt a recovering hyperstriver.
Talya explained that ‘hyperstriving’ (which she notes is not a clinical term or concept and could be called something else by other clinicians) is a relentless desire to achieve. It is when people align their sense of identity with achievement; that their value in this world is connected to what they do and how others see them. This concept of feeling good enough when they achieve. These people have very high expectations of themselves, they push and push and push themselves to achieve and yet when they do achieve, that feeling of elation never arrives, more this feeling and compulsion to keep striving, to keep hustling and to keep going. This thinking that maybe when I achieve this next big thing…then I’ll feel fulfilled. Except that feeling of being good enough and content enough and happy enough never arrives. Do, do, do. More, more, more!
See there is no happiness or contentment in hyperstriving. There is a real problem when our sense of worth is tied up in what we do and how others see us.
Whilst there is no valid and reliable checklist to diagnose a hyperstriver; I can say with a fair amount of certainty that so many of the women I know and the clients I see are in fact themselves ‘hyperstrivers.’ These women are smart, strong, driven, capable and switched on. These same women are wearing more hats, juggling more projects, working longer hours and taking on more responsibility than ever before. Meanwhile many of us continue to also fulfil traditional roles as home makers, nurturers, carers and partners. Add all of this to an endless list of ‘stuff’ we should be doing like exercising, eating well, having quality time with friends and family, improving ourselves and contributing to our community…There is no wonder we are overwhelmed and exhausted!
Could you be a hyperstriver? Do any of the following sound like you?
- Lost your passion and purpose.
- Burning out.
- Relationships are suffering.
- Always rushing.
- Lack of satisfaction despite all the hard work.
- Low energy.
- Career flourishing, health diminishing.
- Poor food habits.
- Competing priorities.
- Snappy and frustrated.
- Rarely feel like you are on top of things.
- Strung out and exhausted.
- Daily battle to keep up.
- Using coffee to warm up and alcohol to cool down.
- No time to exercise.
- Endless ‘To Do’ lists.
- Values are no longer aligned with the life you’re living.
- Always feeling like there is more to do.
- Know you need to make changes but don’t know where to start.
I get you. I’ve been there. I also know with the benefit of hindsight that there is no joy or authentic, meaningful success to be found in always striving towards achieving the next big thing. Regardless of what we do or what we have, we are all precious and important. We are enough. There is real beauty, joy and happiness to be found in the ‘being’ and just letting go.
I help busy women like you achieve happier, healthier and more balanced lifestyles. With guidance, I will help you simplify and structure your ‘busy life’. We will work together to create a life that reflects what is really important to you. A life that aligns with what matters most to you. Together we will dig yourself out of the clutter. With my support, I will help you create healthy behaviours in the realms of nutrition, exercise, lifestyle, organisation and stress management. You will emerge feeling energised, inspired and empowered. You will have more time, have greater balance and feel like you are more aligned with your true self. For more information, contact me here.
