When Life Feels Hard:
Simple Regulation Tools Every Teen Should Know
We often expect teens to “use their words” or “make good choices” when they’re overwhelmed, but the truth is, a d nervous system can’t do either.
Why teens get overwhelmed so easily
- Their brain’s emotion centre (amygdala) is highly reactive
- Their prefrontal cortex (decision-making) is still developing
- Stress hormones spike more easily and settle more slowly during adolescence
- They haven’t finished building a strong internal toolkit for managing emotional surges
So what is regulation?
Regulation is the process of calming the body so the brain can come back online. When teens are in fight, flight, or freeze mode, they need body-based tools to return to feeling safe and grounded.
Four simple tools every teen can try:
- Long Exhale Breathing – Inhale for 4, exhale for 6.
- Butterfly Tapping – Cross arms over chest and tap slowly and firmly left, right, left, right. This rhythmic movement helps the body feel safe and grounded during stress or anxiety.
- Cold Water Reset – Splashing cold water on the face or holding an ice cube can interrupt a stress response and bring the body back to the present moment.
- Drop and Shake – Literally shake out your arms, legs, and shoulders. It may feel silly, but movement helps discharge built-up stress energy from the body.
How to make it feel normal (not cringe):
- Model it yourself – “I’m doing a breath reset, want to try it with me?”
- Normalise as a life skill – “Everyone, including me benefits from calming tools.”
- Make it visual – Create a small “calm kit” with sensory items or written tools they can grab when needed
Helping teens regulate isn’t about eliminating stress, it’s about building resilience and showing them they can manage it. That empowerment changes everything.
Want to bring these tools to your school or parent community?
If you’re an educator, a wellbeing lead or parent who wants to bring this practical offering to your school, community or home, I run workshops that make nervous system regulation relatable, engaging, and practical for both teens and parents. Learn more here.
If you are looking for some 1:1 wellbeing and counselling support for your young person, or you’d like some help with practical tools, strategies and resources to better support your child through this challenging time. You can contact me here.
In the meantime, take good care,
Megan x