Feeling Lost with Your Teens' Screen Time?
Here’s Where to Start
If it feels like screens have taken over your home, you’re not alone.
For many families, it’s a constant push-and-pull, teens testing limits, parents trying to protect sleep and wellbeing, and everyone feeling stuck. It is not that you’re failing, it’s that this is hard. We didn’t grow up with this level of technology, so of course, it feels overwhelming and uncertain.
What matters most isn’t being perfect, it’s being a steady guide. Your teen doesn’t need you to have all the answers, but they do need you to set boundaries that protect their health and wellbeing.
Why Screens Are So Hard to Switch Off
Social media, gaming, and streaming are designed to hold attention, with endless notifications, likes, and quick rewards. Combine this with the natural teen sleep cycle (they feel alert later at night), and you’ve got the perfect recipe for late nights and tired mornings.
Recent research confirms what many parents see:
- Too much late-night screen time results in poor sleep, higher stress, and lower mood.
- Girls are especially vulnerable, with higher risks of disrupted sleep and depressive symptoms.
- It’s not just about ‘how many hours’ teens are online, it’s about problematic use (doom-scrolling, gaming binges, constant notifications). This is what drives the most significant risks.
What’s ‘Healthy’ Phone Time?
There’s no single magic number, but here’s a practical guide you can use:
|
Age |
Daily Phone Time (Recreational) |
Notes |
|
10–12 yrs |
Around 1–1.5 hrs |
Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight. |
|
13–15 yrs |
Up to 2 hrs |
Balance with sport, hobbies, and in-person friends. |
|
16–17 yrs |
2–3 hrs |
More independence but still protect sleep + device-free times. |
The goal isn’t perfection; it’s making sure screens don’t replace sleep, activity, or real-world connection.
How to track it:
- iPhone: Settings → Screen Time
- Android: Settings → Digital Wellbeing
- Apps like Forest (focus), Freedom (blocking), FamiSafe (family-friendly limits)
How to Be Collaborative and Be the Parent
Research shows the best outcomes happen when teens are involved in the conversation, but parents remain the decision-makers. Collaboration builds trust and buy-in, while structure provides safety.
- State your role clearly
Kids don’t need another friend, they need parents to hold the line. Try:
“I love and care about you, and it’s my job to make sure you’re getting enough sleep… That means we’re setting limits around screens.” - Set boundaries together, without handing over the reins
- Agree on a nightly switch-off time (and stick to it).
- Keep devices out of bedrooms, a non-negotiable.
- Protect one daily family activity as screen-free (like mealtime)
- Offer real alternatives
Don’t just remove the phone, replace it with things they’ll enjoy: sport, creative outlets, or time with friends. - Model what you expect
If you’re on your phone at dinner, they’ll take that as the standard. - Keep the focus on wellbeing
Frame boundaries around benefits, not punishment:
“I’ve noticed when you are getting enough sleep, you’re calmer, happier, and more focused.”
Quick Wins You Can Put in Place This Week
- Move all charging to a central station overnight.
- Turn off non-essential notifications.
- Try no screens 30 minutes before bed for 5 nights and see if you both notice a difference.
- Make one daily family activity (like dinner) completely screen-free.
Healthy screen use isn’t about banning devices. It’s about teaching balance, protecting wellbeing, and building strong habits for life.
Yes, it’s tough; many parents feel like the horse has already bolted. It’s a very different world from the one we grew up in, and it’s normal to feel unsure or to be afraid of what it means for your young person’s wellbeing. The thing is that your teen can’t do this on their own. They need you to step up and be steady, confident, and collaborative, to guide the way.
If you’d like support putting these ideas into practice, I’d love to work alongside you to create a practical plan that protects your teen’s health and turns screen-time struggles into calmer conversations, a plan that feels right for your family.
You can get in touch here.
In the meantime, take good care.
Megan x