You’re not alone if you’re feeling tension at home right now.

Whether it’s holidays, the general pace of life, or just the nature of raising a teen, things can feel stretched. Conversations spark too easily, patience wears thin, and you can feel that no matter how much you’re doing, it’s never enough.

I get it. I’m not writing this from a place of theory; I’m right in it with you, as a mum and as a counsellor. And let’s be real: this season of parenting is hard. It’s relentless, often thankless, and it can feel like you’re navigating constant tension while trying to keep your own head above water.

The good news is, there are ways to steady yourself, create space for connection, and soften some of that tension, even in the hardest moments.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Small, consistent actions matter more than you realise. Here are some ideas:

1. Regulate yourself first

Before you engage, pause. Breathe. Even a few seconds of steadying yourself before responding can make all the difference. Teens feed off our energy, and so when you hold steady, you help to settle the whole dynamic.

2. Remember: their reactions often reflect their internal storms

What looks like attitude or defiance is usually a sign of overwhelm, frustration, or fear. Try to separate their intensity from your response. It’s often not about you.

3. Keep connection moments small and frequent

Look for simple, easy windows for connection. It might be a quick chat over breakfast, driving in the car, or while walking the dog… Not every conversation needs to be heavy or deep, small moments build trust.

4. Prioritise listening over fixing

I know how strong the urge is to jump straight to solution mode. Often, what they need most is for us to just listen, without judgement, without advice. Curiosity over control.

5. Model what calm looks like

Taking care of yourself is so important. Move your body, get outside, eat nourishing food, take proper breaks. When you look after yourself, you model healthy coping skills for your teen too.

6. Acknowledge the tension

If things feel strained, it’s okay to acknowledge it: “I know things have felt a bit tense between us. I want us to work through it.” Naming it calmly opens the door for connection without blame.

7. Respect is a two-way street

It’s a big one. Teens are more likely to respect our boundaries when they feel their own perspective is respected too. Even if you disagree, validate their feelings when you can.

I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this.

Parenting a teenager isn’t about getting it right all the time. It’s about showing up, staying steady, and keeping the connection open, even when it feels messy and hard.

These small, everyday actions matter. They ease the tension, open the lines of communication, and remind your teen (and yourself) that you’re on the same team, even on the toughest of days.

If today feels like a hard day, start with one small thing. Breathe. Steady yourself. Take the smallest window of connection when it appears.

You’re doing better than you think.

With you,

Megan x

I’ll be sharing more tools and resources for parents soon, simple, practical supports to help you and your teen navigate these years with a little more ease. Stay tuned.