As assessment and exam time approaches, many teens are quietly carrying an invisible burden. You might notice a change in their mood, snappiness, withdrawal, tears, or complete shutdown. 

Beneath the behaviour is often a mix of fear, pressure, and comparison, things they might not have the words for yet. And as parents, it’s hard. We want to help. We want to fix it, but what they usually need most is presence, not pressure.

They might be wondering:
• “What if I can’t do it?”
• “What if I let everyone down?”
• “Why am I the only one feeling this way?”

What’s really going on

Teen brains are still developing the skills needed to manage stress, things like emotional regulation, time management, and handling uncertainty. When stress peaks, the thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) can take a back seat, and the survival part (amygdala) takes over. That’s why your teen might snap at small things, feel foggy, or shut down altogether.

Stress isn’t always a bad thing, in small doses, it can help with focus and motivation. However, when it builds without support or recovery, it can lead to anxiety, poor sleep, and even physical symptoms. The key is balance: steady routines, small moments of calm, and feeling seen and supported.

What Actually Helps

Here are some simple, ways to show up for your teen in the lead-up to exams and assessments:

1. Keep perspective in the room
   

Remind them (gently and often) that exams are just one part of life, not the whole story. They’re learning how to try, how to cope, how to bounce back.

2. Offer support, not pressure
   

Instead of “Have you done enough revision?”, try “Is there anything I can do to make today feel easier?” or “Do you want to talk something out?”

3. Help create a rhythm that soothes, not spikes

• Sleep matters more than late-night cramming (aim for 8+ hours)
• A short walk or 20 minutes outside can do wonders for focus and mood
• Start the day with a protein-rich breakfast
• Keep evenings calm: warm lights, soft cues to wind down, less screen time before bed

4. Model rest and boundaries yourself
   

Let them see you pausing, saying no to overload, and making time for rest. It gives them permission to do the same.

Practical Ways to Support Their Wellbeing

• Keep a calm, quiet space available for study
• Stock the fridge with easy, nourishing snacks
• Suggest a screen-free walk or quiet reset together
• Run them a bath, light a candle, and let the world pause for a while
• Sit beside them with no need to talk, your calm presence matters
• Say, “I’m here if you need to talk it out. No pressure.”

From one parent to another

I’m walking this path too, my daughter is sitting her HSC, and I’ve learnt that the best support isn’t perfect or polished. It’s the quiet presence. It’s running a bath, a hug, sitting beside her, or just listening without trying to solve it.

It’s not about pep talks or productivity hacks. It’s about being steady when things feel wobbly, letting them know without a doubt that they’re more than the sum of their results.

Being there, lovingly and calmly, without condition. That’s what they’ll remember most.

Megan x