A few years back I remember pondering, that despite having a fulfilling job, a loving husband, healthy children, great friends and an active social life why I just didn’t feel as happy as I assessed other people to be. This feeling of discontentment, this belief I was bound to live a better life than the one I was living plagued me. Was I just ungrateful? Was I selfish?
I was showing up but not really being present, experiencing but not really feeling, moving through the days, ticking them off, doing what needed to be done and putting one foot in front of the other. This ‘existence’ was allowing me to achieve quite a lot at the time. I was doing well at work, our family was seemingly healthy and happy. I had lot to be grateful for. I kept telling myself that but I lacked clarity, purpose and genuine fulfillment.
A typical day would start at 5am when the alarm would startle me to attention. Out of habit I’d lace up my sneakers and hit the pavement for my morning run, home to pack school lunch boxes and hurry kids along. By the time I had ranted and raved and packed three children off to school, rushed to work, stopped work to pick kids up from school (damn, I was in the middle of something) transported children to their various after school commitments all the while checking emails at traffic lights, helped children with their homework, locked myself outside to make work calls, checked more emails, made dinner, folded washing, listened to kids readers, kissed kids goodnight, logged back onto work…SHATTERED! I would collapse on the couch for some mind numbing reality show and fall asleep in front of the TV – every night! There has to be more to this life right? This rushing through the day, this frenetic, crazy pace was becoming intolerable. I became overtly aware that the costs in the long term to my family, happiness and my health was too great.
Being ‘switched’ on all day, combined with minimal sleep can mean we spend the majority of our time living in a heightened stress response. This is SO bad for us. Our body is constantly wired and ready for ‘fight or flight’. This impacts badly on our immune system, our ability to rest, to fully digest food and to repair ourselves. Ultimately this can lead to serious health conditions like high blood pressure, heart disease, weakened immune system and insomnia to name just a few.
A more immediate consequence of this rushing is rarely being present. If we are not fully present, not paying attention to the moment and to how we feel we are by no way able to be at our best. We are not able to truly connect with others, we are distracted and people around us do not feel seen or acknowledged (yes they do notice) All of this striving and rushing means we miss the small things in life that can bring us so much happiness.
Realizing that your life is not how you want it to be is a big step towards living the life that you desire. I have shared below a couple of tips on how you can transform your life today for the better. Small, simple steps…huge ripple effect.
1. Accept that you need to change.
Acknowledging you have grown tired of who you are is the very first step towards change.
2. Decide what you want.
You must be able to clearly envisage what it is you want for yourself. Having clear objective goals is a crucial part of successfully transforming your life.
3. Self-limiting beliefs – be gone!
Our beliefs can often be the biggest barrier to us transforming our lives and realising our potential. Challenging and eliminating these negative thoughts will empower you for great things.
4. Take action.
Setting small, achievable, realistic goals and then sustaining these changes can help you progress towards lasting, positive change.
If you would like some support with challenging your current situation, setting a vision and supporting them with goals to step forward into who and where you want to be – reach out and contact me. Let’s do this together.