Self-Care is not Selfish.

busy-women

So how are you…really?

Every day, I see the crazy, messy, demanding, no down-time, don’t let anyone see what this is really like truth people are living. I also see people searching for something different. Searching for something they believe is unattainable. Lives that they can enjoy, space to breathe, time to live and not just exist.

I have lived it and know it to be true. I am hardwired with a massive tendency to overload myself and overcommit. I have very high expectations of myself, three very busy children, coupled with a husband who travels for work and I run my own business so I know intimately, the juggle and the struggle that we women face. For a long time I spent my days over scheduling, trying to do it all, be it all and have it all. I was running on adrenalin and juggling lots of balls (pretty well) but I was missing basic opportunities for connectedness and happiness. I started to burn out.

So I stepped back. Big time. I had to make some changes that would better support me and my family. What I have learned over many years is that for me to thrive – at work and at home I need be very intentional and deliberate about supporting my wellbeing and investing in myself each and every day.

For so many women there is this sense of hopelessness around it all – that we are living a losing battle of just trying to stay on top of things. But here’s the thing…It is absolutely possible to live a life you love…to live a life that is full and stimulating and fulfilling but that is not panicked and rushed and chaotic.

Over time I have learned ways that have enabled me to take my wellbeing to a whole new dimension. As a result, I am more present, calm, energized and fulfilled. This didn’t just happen. It’s been a slow burn. My non-negotiables each day are good nutrition, exercise, enough sleep and meditation. By practicing these self-care rituals, I am much better at managing and embracing the busyness of life.

How to make ‘self-care’ actually happen.
It can be quite a challenge to find time for ourselves. Unless you plan it – ‘me time’ can easily fall off the to-do list.

  • Commitment to self. Getting over the idea that ‘self-care’ is selfish and that in fact it’s a necessary dimension of your wellbeing is the first step. When we are tired, stressed and pulled in too many directions, it is impossible to give our best to all that we must accomplish.
  • What is wasting time? Do you check your emails constantly? Answer personal calls in the middle of a work-day? Spend time mindlessly scrolling through social media? If this sounds like you, perhaps it’s time to prioritise your responsibilities and gain more time that way.
  • Learn to say “no”. Practise makes perfect but it is okay to say no to things that you don’t really want to do, need to do and don’t value.
  • Plan for it. Unless you plan for it, in our very busy, over committed lives it is likely to fall off the ‘to do’ list. We have to be pro-active about fitting it in. Schedule it like you would an appointment or a meeting.
  • Commit to a minimum of 10 – 20 minutes a day. Start off small. Do something (or nothing) that you enjoy and that allows you to let go of responsibility. Everyone has 10 minutes.
  • Create a daily ritual. This might be a bath, going for an evening walk or getting up early to meditate or have a quiet cup of tea alone. Build it into your day and make it something you look forward to.

No matter what ‘self-care’ means for you, it shouldn’t be at the bottom of your ‘To Do’ list. It is something we should be doing to stay healthy and happy. It’s basic. It’s fundamental.

So what can you do today to improve your self-care?
If you have a hunch that you’re not quite nailing it – I’d love to hear from you. I work with clients just like you to improve their wellness with simple strategies and routines to regain clarity and control, find balance in their day and develop healthy habits towards experiencing a more fulfilling life. Contact me here and lets have a chat.

Chaos to Calm

busy - women - tired - need sleep

Do you feel like you are rarely on top of things? Are you overcommitted and overwhelmed? Do you feel like you are coming up short when it comes to doing enough, giving enough and being enough? Are you over it?

We all have these moments where in the chaotic craziness of life we lose ourselves for a moment. We can very easily get caught up in everyone else’s needs and ignore our own. See I used to live like this – all the time. This insane rushing and overcommitting was my version of ‘normal.’ It was my standard practise. But I was strung out and exhausted. Not any-more!

What I actually crave now is Space. Uncomplicated. Calm.

I knew I had to take stock. None of us are perfect, no matter what persona we project. We all have highs and lows where we need support, love, and a plan to move forward.

So why am I sharing all of this with you? I am hearing more and more from friends and clients who are crazily busy and caught up in the hustle, the juggle and the struggle and don’t know how to press pause and get off the roller coaster. People who are desperately seeking to step away from the busyness. So I thought I’d share a snippet of some of the things that work for me and hope that some of the strategies might resonate with you.

Be Real.

It’s okay to not be indestructible all the time and to feel flat, overwhelmed and disconnected. A lot of the time it will pass. Helping yourself through it is the important part.

Reconnect with your Vision.

Get deliberate about the life you want to create for yourself. When you live life true to your values and integrity, it becomes pretty clear when you are no longer in alignment. Getting clear about what is no longer serving you, your purpose or your wellbeing is super important. That feeling that just doesn’t feel right. Listen to it. Honor it.

Move.

It doesn’t mean you have to do a high intensity sweat session. Make the time to simply move your body. Get outside, breathe in the fresh air and gain a fresh perspective.

Detox – your body and your life.

Let the good in and let go of the things that aren’t working for you. Maybe you need a social media detox, or to take a good look at your relationship/friendships? We could really benefit by surrounding ourselves with people who genuinely love us for who we are, support us and genuinely care about us. On a lighter note you might like to clear the clutter. Get rid of the messiness, the paper piles, the out of date food in the pantry, the clothes you never wear…Space feels good. And the mind calms with the less clutter there is.

Routines.

I love routines and rituals. They help set me up for a good day. They are habit and they are the non-negotiable parts of my day, the stuff that I enjoy and I know makes me feel good. It’s simple and takes out hundreds of decisions every day that are unnecessary and can zap time and energy.
Engage your ‘Dream Team’. Lean in and lean on your support network….partner, family, friends. Call on your tribe. There is no beating authentic connection and sharing quality time with the people you love. A walk, a coffee, a hug, a chat, a cry or a laugh with them can be the greatest lift.

Plan a Break.

Everybody needs a little time away. Getting away from the everyday norm is essential for our coping, our health and wellbeing. If you have a family, you know that the time you have away on a holiday with them is always amazing as the focus is on enjoying the time together with no other distractions. Whether it is a girls weekend away or a longer holiday get it in the diary so you can have it to look forward to.

Now not for a second am I suggesting we all quit our jobs and spend our days meditating and sipping on green juice. For those of you that know me know I am driven, have a full life and love to embrace people, good times and new opportunities. What I am talking about is to stop needing everything to be bigger and better. Simplify, slow down and realign to create your own calm and happy place.

If you are over it and overwhelmed and stuck in a fog, it’s okay, there is another way. The reality is it starts with awareness and then small, deliberate, intentional steps. Start with focusing on what matters most to you…

If you know you need to make some changes but don’t know where to start, connect with me here for a complimentary ‘check in’ and let’s work out a plan together. Let me support you to connect more deeply, breathe more freely and live more simply.

Tired all the time? Get some sleep.

So how did you sleep last night? What about the night before that? Did you go to bed before 10pm in a cool, darkened room and sleep without waking for 8 gorgeous hours? Did you wake naturally, feeling refreshed, energised, calm and positive? No? Really? Well this sadly is the reality for a very large number of people who in fact rarely experience this. Unfortunately the complaint of “I’m exhausted all the time” has become perfectly normal. How wrong is that!

I attended a talk the other night presented by the super brain and very awesome Dr Libby Weaver ‘Sort Your Sleep – Understanding Mood, Stress and Fatigue.’ It struck me just how many of us struggle with getting enough shut eye. Anyhow, it inspired me to share a bit about how absolutely central sleep is to good health.

Too busy to sleep.
No matter how tired we are sometimes, it feels like it’s impossible to get the sleep we need. Feeling that there aren’t enough hours in the day, we look for something to cut. And sleep is an easy target. Ironically, the more tired we are, combined with the sleep we are too busy to have, the more we come unravelled…big time!

Burning out.
I can speak from personal experience when I recall a time where anything over 5 hours felt like a bonus. Waking to an alarm after minimal sleep would send my adrenalin pumping. Like a robot I would sit up, tie my laces and head out into the dark to get my exercise in before the rest of the world woke. I was totally knackered. Wired and tired! I am here to tell you that if you are getting by on minimal sleep and feel like you are coping okay then it is time to reassess. Burning out is not the necessary price for accomplishment and success.

Just getting by.
Sleep is often the first thing to go when we are busy. You think you can just ‘get by’ with five hours sleep and you’ll be fine. Right? WRONG! We need sleep to function well. It is absolutely vital for our mental, physical and emotional well-being. Getting good-quality sleep (and enough of it) should be as high on your priority list as regular exercise and a healthy diet.

Why lack of sleep is bad for our health…REALLY BAD!
There is a wealth of evidence showing that too few zzzzs can have a significant and very negative impact on our health and wellbeing. Sleep is absolutely the key to better health. Sleep affects our physical and mental health enormously. A bad night’s sleep massively impacts alertness, concentration, memory, mood and productivity. It can also lower our immunity, contribute to weight gain, affect our hormone function and increase our risk of serious disease. Without enough sleep, we may well continue to function but we certainly do not continue to function well. Sleep is the key to feeling great and functioning at your personal best.

Today we know more about the science of sleep than ever before and how important it is to every aspect of our wellbeing. However, getting enough sleep seems harder and harder. It’s also the delusion that overwork, stress and burnout are the inevitable prices we must pay in order to succeed. There are some very real medical reasons why people may not be able to achieve deep restorative sleep, so if you feel like you have ‘tried everything’ then it may be a reason to consult your GP. For most of us though there is a great deal of hope around sorting our sleep.

Here are some suggestions for getting a great night’s sleep:

  • Sleep in a darkened room. This supports the body’s natural hormonal patterns to send you off to sleep and keep you that way.
  • Get to sleep by 10pm. Most of the body’s repair work is done prior to 3am so the more sleep you can get before this time, the fresher and more vital you will feel on waking.
  • Switch off! Computers, televisions and phones interfere with your natural sleep hormones and affect your sleep big time. Ideally have technology free time for at least an hour before bed.
  • Avoid doing work for 2 hours before bed and engaging your brain in this way.
  • Avoid stimulants in the afternoon. Eliminating caffeine after 12pm is a good idea.
  • Avoid excessive alcohol. Although alcohol is a sedative, it disrupts quality of sleep by causing us to wake when our blood sugar levels start to fall.
  • Keep the temperature in the bedroom at a comfortable level. Don’t overheat with piles of blankets and keep some fresh air coming into the room during the night.
  • Find a way to relax before bed. Restorative rituals like a bath, a cup of herbal tea, a book, some light stretching or even some slow deep breathing can help to clear your mind and enable you to fall into a deeper sleep.

So how much sleep do we need?
Seven to eight hours. Most experts consider this the optimal level of sleep and it should lead you to wake feeling rested and ready for the day ahead.

So it’s about time you got some serious shut eye.
It is so important to schedule maximum (quality) sleep time for yourself if you want to start feeling amazing from the inside out. Rather than trudging through your day, wake up feeling calm, clear and rested. There is a new kind of normal – just go to bed!

I would like to challenge you to find one thing you could do differently over the next week to set yourself up for a better nights sleep. I’d love to hear what works for you. Contact me here.

Are you an ‘All or Nothing’ person?

Are you an ‘All or Nothing’ person? You either do something perfectly, or not at all?

The problem with ‘All or Nothing’ thinking is that either you’re all – or you’re nothing. There is no in-between. This approach to life can really stifle our happiness and fulfilment and tends to explode into self -criticism and feelings of hopelessness.

Letting go of extremes can really improve your health and wellness.

I get it. It can be challenging to always eat well, diligently exercise, rest enough…add this to the every-day responsibilities of working, managing a home, giving to relationships, contributing to society and being a decent human…it can be overwhelming and exhausting.

‘All or Nothing’ people swing between both ends of the extremes:

  • They do restrictive diets to punish themselves after indulging on a holiday.
  • They swear off all alcohol for ‘Feb Fast’ or ‘Ocsober’ only to participate in huge drinking sessions for the remainder of the year.
  • After having a row of chocolate they think, “Oh well I’ve blown it”, and so decide to eat the entire block.
  • They sign up for 30 days of yoga in a row to make up for 3 months of complete inactivity.
  • They do a green juice cleanse for a week after a weekend of indulgence and binging.

If we embraced moderation a little more in our lives we wouldn’t feel the need to turn to extreme weight loss challenges, diets and ‘detoxes’ to make up for our lifestyle.

So you miss a workout one morning because you have to be at work early or you have a row of chocolate after dinner. The thing is, missing a workout or having a piece of cake or chocolate doesn’t mean you’ve blown your whole regime. Being affected by life’s little bumps doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

So many clients I see are stuck in this ‘All or Nothing’ cycle. This idea that if something is not done perfectly then the pursuit is useless.

Maybe you or someone you know is like this…Before they (re)start their new diet the pantry gets cleaned out, they eat a few last-hurrah meals, drink a few last–hurrah wines. A new exercise regime may start with the same sort of enthusiasm, new active-wear and renewed promises to self of daily workouts. But if you are pressuring yourself to be perfect, it won’t be long until you decide you’re weak or that your life/family/job/whatever is conspiring to keep you out of shape. And then, you give up. You quit!

Whilst these intentions are great and we need to be scheduling time for intentional exercise and paying attention to the quality and quantity of food we eat, this ‘All or Nothing’ approach sets the bar so high that it can never be reached and in doing so, we set ourselves up to fail. Cue feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, restriction and feelings of hopelessness!

We need to be a little bit flexible, especially at the beginning of a lifestyle change. Yes, it’s important to make a plan and do your best to stick with it. But if you do stumble, dust yourself off. Life happens…carry on. A slip up does not need to be the undoing of our health. It is just a tiny part of the big picture.

It really is about time we start being a little kinder to ourselves for the sake of our health. Time we embraced a little more moderation instead of guiltily swinging between ‘All or Nothing’ extremes. I provide guidance towards health and lifestyle solutions for busy women. If you would like some support towards making some tweaks toward a sustainable and balanced wellness plan then contact me. I would love to help you find what feels right for you.

Take Back Control Before Christmas.

I have been asked a lot by people lately whether Chasing Sunrise will be running any programs before Christmas so they can get back on track, really enjoy the silly season and start off the New Year with a bang…

The answer is YES!

  • Are you exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed?
  • Is your health on the back burner because there are so many other important things to do?
  • Are you cranky and snappy?
  • Does it all just seem too hard?

This is your chance to get out of the rut and nail it in 2016.

Chasing Sunrise is running a personalised health and lifestyle coaching program that takes us up to the week before Christmas. This four week program is designed for busy women who need some help making a change and some support and encouragement getting things back on track.

Program includes;

  • 1 x 60 minute Wellness Creation Session.
  • 3 x 45 minute 1:1 Action Plan Sessions.
  • A heap of Information, resources and tools to support you.

Participants can expect:

  • To be empowered and inspired to make positive change that lasts.
  • To be able to prioritise and manage their time like a pro so days are filled with more space and less stress and chaos.
  • To be able to put into place healthy habits and routines that stick.
  • To head into Christmas and the New Year back in the driver’s seat of their own lives.
  • To feel focussed, positive and energetic.

Don’t deny yourself this opportunity because you don’t have time or don’t deserve it. You know things have to change so why not start right now.

Program starts week commencing 21st November. Spaces strictly limited. Special Offer $300.

Give yourself the gift of health this Christmas. Get in touch.

Why Diets Don’t Work.

This might seem a pretty harsh statement, but dieting just doesn’t work. In-fact it can do more harm than good. This might be hard to hear, particularly when you might have been hoping for a ‘quick fix,’ desperate to achieve rapid weight loss and fit into those skinny jeans!

There are so many conflicting messages about food; what we should eat, what we shouldn’t and it is easy to feel confused and overwhelmed. We know we need to eat fresh and nutritious ingredients, we know we should eat often, avoid sugar and processed foods and drink plenty of water. But every day there seems to be a new health food, miracle ingredient or superfood breakthrough that makes us wonder if we should give it a try…just in case!

Let’s Take a Look at What’s Out There.

Paleo Diet.

This diet essentially excludes all grains, starchy vegetables and dairy. Its premise is that we should eat like cave men did and not eat any processed food. This high-protein diet will supply you with essential fatty acids, dietary fibre, antioxidants and important vitamins and minerals. However why give up wonderfully nutritious foods such as beans, quinoa, wholegrain bread and yoghurt? It is restrictive and cuts out some major food groups, so it may be difficult to maintain long term for the average person.

Sugar-Free Diet.

This diet involves removing all sugar from the diet including fructose sugar found in fruits, some starchy vegetables and honey. Not only can this diet be hard to maintain, but by removing fruit from the diet altogether reduces our vitamin and mineral intake and can increase the development of constipation. A more balanced approach which is less extreme is where we cut out fruit juices, refined sugars and processed food from our diets. This is a positive step towards good health.

Low-Carb Diet.

In more recent times carbs have got a really bad rap. A low-carb or no-carb diet involves eating high amounts of protein and cutting out carbohydrates. This diet will often result in short term weight loss. However, our bodies need a certain amount of complex carbohydrates to function properly. Diets that are too low in carbohydrates can leave you feeling fatigued and moody. This happens because carbohydrates are the body’s preferred form of fuel needed for immediate energy (particularly for the nervous system). Additionally, carbohydrates stimulate the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which helps boost mood. A healthy eating plan includes balanced amounts of protein, fat and carbohydrates in a portion controlled manner to ensure no major food group is eliminated and health is not put at risk.

5:2 Diet.

This involves eating whatever you choose, followed by two days of fasting (reducing your kilojoule intake dramatically to 2090KJ for women and 2500 for men) Intermittent fasting can be quite a natural way to eat for some people, however this way of eating teaches us nothing about how to eat a healthy, balanced diet, not to mention fasting for two out of seven days in the week!

Shake Diet.

This diet involves replacing one or more meals with a low-calorie, high protein shake. Although this diet will result in short-term weight loss, it is not sustainable and in the long-term can quickly result in regaining lost weight once normal eating resumes.

Alkaline Diet.

This involves eating a lot of alkaline-promoting foods such as fruit, vegetables, soy beans and lentils, and avoiding acid-causing food. Acidity has been attributed to the development of some chronic diseases. Acidic foods include dairy, eggs, meat, grains and some fruit and vegetables. The issue with this diet is that it excludes major food groups and restricts a lot of protein rich foods that help us stay fuller for longer and balances our blood sugar levels.

Calorie Counting.

This diet is dramatically reducing calorie intake. Whilst I’m all for cutting out empty calories from high sugar and processed food, it’s important to keep in mind that our body needs a certain number of calories each day just to maintain normal metabolic functioning. Every system in our body require calories to work properly. If you drastically cut calories (as people often do when they diet) your body thinks it’s starving and slows your metabolism because it’s trying to conserve energy. Then, as you return to your old eating habits which you inevitably do because eating like a bird is not sustainable, the weight can quickly pile back on.

Why Dieting Fails.

There are so many fad diets out there that report amazing results, but these claims are usually quite misleading. The main problem with diets is that many simply don’t work long-term. People on fad diets often find that they achieve some immediate weight loss but can’t stick with the diet for a long period of time. This is likely due to the fact that many diets aren’t realistic, are too restrictive, too costly, too complicated, or too inconvenient to maintain. Whilst there is no one type of diet that suits everyone, the best diet is the one you are not on.

We need to reconsider the way we think about food. Rather than thinking about temporarily going on some hot new diet to shed excess weight or achieve some other aspect of wellness, we should be thinking about making achievable, realistic changes that we can sustain for a lifetime.

Help is here!

So the first step towards permanent healthy weight, somewhat ironically, is to lose the diet and the diet mindset. Instead, think about a healthy eating plan that you could live with and enjoy for life.

If you would like some help creating an eating plan that works for you and is both sustainable and enjoyable please reach out. I would love to help work towards a healthier you. http://www.chasingsunrise.com.au/contact/

Find your ‘Dream Team’ for Better Health.

All of us need a good support network and our lives are made all the better by having people to help us out when we need it. When we decide and are committed to change it is vital to have the right people around us to encourage, support and celebrate our success. This is what I like to call a ‘Dream Team’ – they are people who genuinely care and want the best for us. These people want to see us achieve our goals and fulfil our potential.

Whilst some people lift, nurture and encourage us, others can have the opposite effect. They are the people who might shoot down our idea, lead us astray, appear uninterested or are just plain unsupportive. They are the people that want you to keep drinking with them, putting on weight with them, being stressed along side them… they will sabotage your efforts because it is uncomfortable for them to see you step up. For you to succeed shines a light on their own insecurities.

Choose Carefully.

Our wellbeing is certainly influenced by those around us so it is important for us to surround ourselves with a team of people that cultivate healthy and positive behaviour. If we can keep this in mind we can have greater insights into the quality of our interactions and their energetic effect on us. We need to choose our team carefully – as they will help us strive or wilt.

I encourage all my clients to choose a ‘Dream Team’. In my experience they are crucial in supporting a person achieve positive and lasting change. Our team inspire us to be a better person, can provide us with motivation to achieve our goals, empower us to make changes, hold us accountable and are happy for our success.

Who Makes Up a Dream Team?

Positive people that enrich our lives. They might be:

–          Family members

–          Friends

–          Co-workers

–          Mentor/Coach

These people see the potential in you, even when you are having trouble yourself.

My Team.

I am fortunate to have a large network of family and friends around me. Having said that there are only a few I would consider make up my ‘Dream Team’. My team inspire me, challenge me, love me, support me and absolutely want the best for me. They are people I can call on to talk through a problem, to gain perspective, get balance or reassurance. They are my own little cheer squad and I am immensely grateful for them in my life. On the flipside there are those that can leave me feeling flat and frustrated after interactions. They are the takers, they lack personal awareness and are egocentric. I have learned over time to manage my interactions with them.

How to Engage Your Team.

Tell people they are part of your team, allow yourself to be vulnerable, share your dreams, goals and desires. In many cases it might be helpful to tell your team what support you need. Don’t expect them to necessarily know unless you are specific. Our journey to wellness can be made so much better by having people to be strong when we are weak and offer perspective when we feel lost.

I would challenge you to have the courage to ask for support, to acknowledge that we are stronger when we to lean in. Surround yourself with people who are going to cultivate this new, healthy, positive change you want.

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you need some help with gaining the right support to become your own best version of self. I would love to be part of your team. http://www.chasingsunrise.com.au/contact/

How Values affect our Wellbeing.

Articulating our values is absolutely key towards getting real about what we want our life to look like. Values are what is most important to us. If we can define our values and then live in alignment with them then we will ultimately feel happier and more fulfilled. Sound a bit heavy? Stay with me…

Values really should determine our priorities. When the things that we do and the way we behave match our values, life is good, we feel satisfied and content. However with the hectic pace, complexities, competing priorities and demands of modern life we are finding we are more and more just getting by and choosing the path of least resistance. This can be a real source of unhappiness. That sick feeling when you know things just don’t sit right – we all know it and it’s not a nice feeling.

This is why making a conscious effort to identify and understand our values is so important. When we are aware of them, honour them and make decisions aligned with them – life is good and a hell of a lot easier.

I took some time out and got ‘real’ on my values about three years ago. A couple of my top values that I am happy to share with you are;

Family and Friends. Having connected, meaningful and authentic relationships with those closest to me is my priority.

Health and Wellness. To be the best version of me in body, mind and spirit is a commitment I make to myself every day.

I know my values inside out and I turn to them when I need to make decisions.

Do you know what your values are?

Can you clearly articulate what is most important to you?

You might like to use the following list of common personal values to help you get started; Aim for a top 5. Really ask yourself and get real on what is most important to you.

Acceptance Determination Health Reliability
Accomplishment Discipline Honesty Religion
Accountability Diversity Independence Respect
Achievement Empathy Integrity Responsibility
Ambition Enjoyment Intelligence Security
Assertiveness Enthusiasm Influence Self-Control
Balance Excellence Intuition Self-Respect
Belonging Excitement Joy Sensitivity
Calmness Expertise Leadership Service
Challenge Exploration Legacy Spirituality
Cheerfulness Faith Love Spontaneity
Commitment Family Loyalty Stability
Community Fitness Openness Structure
Compassion Focus Order Success
Contentment Freedom Originality Teamwork
Contribution Fun Perfection Travel
Control Generosity Positivity Thoughtfulness
Courage Gratitude Power Trust
Courtesy Growth Professionalism Understanding
Creativity Happiness Punctuality Vitality
Curiosity Hard Work Recognition Wealth

Identifying, understanding and recognising our values can be a challenging but really empowering exercise. It is who we are. If we can live our lives according to our values, we’ll make good decisions, feel more fulfilled and experience a much greater sense of wellbeing.

If you would like some support on getting clear on what you want your best life to look like get in touch, I’d love to help.