#moretimeforme #timeforme #selfcare #timeout Archives

August 31, 2017November 18, 2024

Self-Care is not Selfish.

Self-care is not Selfish

So how are you…really?

Every day, I see the crazy, messy, demanding, no down-time, don’t let anyone see what this is really like truth people are living. I also see people searching for something different. Searching for something they believe is unattainable. Lives that they can enjoy, space to breathe, time to live and not just exist.

I have lived it and know it to be true. I am hardwired with a massive tendency to overload myself and overcommit. I have very high expectations of myself, three very busy children, coupled with a husband who travels for work and I run my own business so I know intimately, the juggle and the struggle that we women face. For a long time I spent my days over scheduling, trying to do it all, be it all and have it all. I was running on adrenalin and juggling lots of balls (pretty well) but I was missing basic opportunities for connectedness and happiness. I started to burn out.

So I stepped back. Big time. I had to make some changes that would better support me and my family. What I have learned over many years is that for me to thrive – at work and at home I need be very intentional and deliberate about supporting my wellbeing and investing in myself each and every day.

For so many women there is this sense of hopelessness around it all – that we are living a losing battle of just trying to stay on top of things. But here’s the thing…It is absolutely possible to live a life you love…to live a life that is full and stimulating and fulfilling but that is not panicked and rushed and chaotic.

Over time I have learned ways that have enabled me to take my wellbeing to a whole new dimension. As a result, I am more present, calm, energized and fulfilled. This didn’t just happen. It’s been a slow burn. My non-negotiables each day are good nutrition, exercise, enough sleep and meditation. By practicing these self-care rituals, I am much better at managing and embracing the busyness of life.

How to make ‘self-care’ actually happen.
It can be quite a challenge to find time for ourselves. Unless you plan it – ‘me time’ can easily fall off the to-do list.

Commitment to self. Getting over the idea that ‘self-care’ is selfish and that in fact it’s a necessary dimension of your wellbeing is the first step. When we are tired, stressed and pulled in too many directions, it is impossible to give our best to all that we must accomplish.
What is wasting time? Do you check your emails constantly? Answer personal calls in the middle of a work-day? Spend time mindlessly scrolling through social media? If this sounds like you, perhaps it’s time to prioritise your responsibilities and gain more time that way.
Learn to say “no”. Practise makes perfect but it is okay to say no to things that you don’t really want to do, need to do and don’t value.
Plan for it. Unless you plan for it, in our very busy, over committed lives it is likely to fall off the ‘to do’ list. We have to be pro-active about fitting it in. Schedule it like you would an appointment or a meeting.
Commit to a minimum of 10 – 20 minutes a day. Start off small. Do something (or nothing) that you enjoy and that allows you to let go of responsibility. Everyone has 10 minutes.
Create a daily ritual. This might be a bath, going for an evening walk or getting up early to meditate or have a quiet cup of tea alone. Build it into your day and make it something you look forward to.

No matter what ‘self-care’ means for you, it shouldn’t be at the bottom of your ‘To Do’ list. It is something we should be doing to stay healthy and happy. It’s basic. It’s fundamental.

So what can you do today to improve your self-care?
If you have a hunch that you’re not quite nailing it – I’d love to hear from you. I work with clients just like you to improve their wellness with simple strategies and routines to regain clarity and control, find balance in their day and develop healthy habits towards experiencing a more fulfilling life. Contact me here and lets have a chat.

March 16, 2017November 19, 2024

Are You A Busy Martyr?

Are you a busy Martyr?

Are you too busy taking care of everyone else to focus on you?

We all want to feel well. We want to feel energetic, glowing, joyful and alive. However with modern demands and conflicting priorities life can be a bit chaotic. We seem to be pushing, striving, hustling and rushing. So healthy and well isn’t always easy to achieve, especially when we are so busy looking after everybody else. Looking after ourselves is often the last thing we focus on.

Busy is not an excuse.

So a very common excuse people make for not taking care of themselves is that they are too busy taking care of everybody else. They justify neglecting themselves in exchange for caring for others. Now this may sound noble, it may even appear selfless and giving; BUT it really is a means of self-sabotage.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

If you are used to putting others first it’s hard to prioritise yourself, and not feel guilty about it. Consider an aeroplane when we are told to put on our own oxygen masks first before attending to others. The idea clashes with our instinct right? What does it really mean? Simply put: If you don’t put your mask on first, you won’t be there for all those other people when they need you. You will be unconscious.

The same applies to us. Our natural tendency is to do for others, because we are caring, loving, nurturing, responsible, supportive and competent people. However, just like the oxygen mask, we need to take care of ourselves so we can effectively take care of the people we love. I say it all the time to my clients; “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” If we are overweight, stressed out and unwell due to putting ourselves at the bottom of the ‘To-Do’ list, you can’t be your best for the important people in your life. Kind of counterintuitive right?

You can manage ‘Busy.’

So if you find yourself frazzled, worn out, irritable, habitually complaining and ‘over it,’ it’s probably time to make some changes. See the thing is, it is absolutely possible to live a life you love; to live a life that is interesting, stimulating and fulfilling but that is not panicked, rushed and chaotic. Managing ‘busy’ and looking after your health is a deliberate choice. An intentional mindset. A discipline within everyone’s reach.

As a health and wellness coach I see the crazy, messy, demanding, no down-time, don’t let anyone see what this is really like truth. I also see people searching for something different. Searching for something they believe is unattainable. Lives that they can enjoy, space to breathe, time to live and not just exist.

If you would like some guidance and support to find workable solutions that fit into your busy lives…solutions that done with consistency will ensure your life becomes full of real living and great health then contact me.

Life can be so much more than just keeping your head above water.

June 22, 2016June 22, 2016

More Time For Me

We all need ‘me time’ no matter how busy we are. In fact the busier we are, the more conscious we need to be about the space we are creating for ourselves. We lead full-on, busy lives and the one thing we never seem to have is time for ourselves. Finding as little as 10-20 minutes a day of uninterrupted ‘me time’ can seem like an impossible task right?

Our lives are so over scheduled that sometimes life can feel like one long to-do list. Let’s face it once you’ve raced off to work, dropped kids to childcare or sport or music and then made a meal and everything else that goes along with running a house, there doesn’t seem to be much time left over for anything else – least of all you! Lack of time for ourselves often leads to us feeling tired, frustrated, overwhelmed and off balance.

When we take time for ourselves to do the things that we enjoy, we end up happier, healthier and feeling much better. ‘Me time’ allows us to de-stress, unwind and rejuvenate. Taking time for ourselves allows us to renew, heal, and create reserves of energy and peace. So it’s about time we get okay with taking some time out. We need to be a bit kinder to ourselves for the sake of our sanity.

Whilst wearing the many hats of mother, wife, daughter, aunt, sister, coach, colleague and friend, I have learnt that I need to really value my own needs. This for me may take the form of meditation, a run or a relaxing bath. By practising this self-care as a ritual in my day it ensures that I have what is required to give my best to the people in my life.

What is ‘me time’?

So what is ‘me time’? Well it’s NOT doing chores or clearing emails! It means different things to different people. It could be reading a book, having a cup of tea in the sunshine, a dinner out with friends, trying a new recipe, a yoga class, a walk, a massage or even some quiet, still breathing – anything that makes you feel good and that you enjoy.

Prioritise yourself.

If you are used to putting others first it’s hard to prioritise yourself, and not feel guilty about it. Consider an aeroplane when we are told to put on our oxygen masks first before attending to others. The idea clashes with our instinct right? What does it really mean? Simply put: If you don’t put your mask on first, you won’t be there for all those other people when they need you. You will be unconscious.

It’s good for you.

Taking some ‘me time’ is vital in protecting our physical, mental and emotional health. Taking a little time refreshes and reenergizes us. It allows us to think more clearly and make better decisions. Other benefits can include sleeping better and reduced irritability, anxiety, fatigue, stress and sickness. And when we do this, we come back to our responsibilities with greater focus, commitment and enjoyment.

How to make ‘me-time’ actually happen.

It can be quite a challenge to find time for ourselves. Unless you plan it – ‘me time’ can easily fall off the to-do list.

Commitment to self.
Getting over that ‘me time’ is selfish and that in fact it’s a necessary dimension of self-care is the first step. When we are tired, stressed and pulled in too many directions, it is impossible to give our best to all that we must accomplish.
Discover what is wasting time.
Do you check your emails constantly? Answer personal calls in the middle of a work-day? Spend time mindlessly scrolling through social media? If this sounds like you, perhaps it’s time to prioritise your responsibilities and gain more time that way.
Learn to say “no”.
Practise makes perfect but it is okay to say no to things that you don’t really want to do, need to do and don’t value.
Plan for it.
Unless you plan for it, in our very busy, over committed lives it is likely to fall of the ‘to do’ list. We have to be pro-active about fitting it in. Schedule it like you would an appointment or a meeting.
Commit to a minimum of 10 – 20 minutes a day.
Do something (or nothing) that you enjoy and that allows you to let go of responsibility.
Create a daily ritual.
This might be a bath, going for an evening walk or getting up early to meditate or have a quiet cup of tea alone. Build it into your day and make it something you look forward to.

No matter what ‘me time’ means for you, it shouldn’t be at the bottom of your to-do list. Creating room for down time is something we should be doing to stay healthy and happy. Exercise, nutritious food and plenty of sleep are vital for good health, but ‘me-time’ is another essential.

So what can you do today to improve your self-care?

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you would like to learn more about how I can help you find more ‘me-time’. I work with clients just like you to improve their wellness with simple strategies and routines to regain clarity and control, find balance in their day and develop healthy habits towards experiencing a more fulfilling life.

Contact Me