Chaos to Calm

busy - women - tired - need sleep

Do you feel like you are rarely on top of things? Are you overcommitted and overwhelmed? Do you feel like you are coming up short when it comes to doing enough, giving enough and being enough? Are you over it?

We all have these moments where in the chaotic craziness of life we lose ourselves for a moment. We can very easily get caught up in everyone else’s needs and ignore our own. See I used to live like this – all the time. This insane rushing and overcommitting was my version of ‘normal.’ It was my standard practise. But I was strung out and exhausted. Not any-more!

What I actually crave now is Space. Uncomplicated. Calm.

I knew I had to take stock. None of us are perfect, no matter what persona we project. We all have highs and lows where we need support, love, and a plan to move forward.

So why am I sharing all of this with you? I am hearing more and more from friends and clients who are crazily busy and caught up in the hustle, the juggle and the struggle and don’t know how to press pause and get off the roller coaster. People who are desperately seeking to step away from the busyness. So I thought I’d share a snippet of some of the things that work for me and hope that some of the strategies might resonate with you.

Be Real.

It’s okay to not be indestructible all the time and to feel flat, overwhelmed and disconnected. A lot of the time it will pass. Helping yourself through it is the important part.

Reconnect with your Vision.

Get deliberate about the life you want to create for yourself. When you live life true to your values and integrity, it becomes pretty clear when you are no longer in alignment. Getting clear about what is no longer serving you, your purpose or your wellbeing is super important. That feeling that just doesn’t feel right. Listen to it. Honor it.

Move.

It doesn’t mean you have to do a high intensity sweat session. Make the time to simply move your body. Get outside, breathe in the fresh air and gain a fresh perspective.

Detox – your body and your life.

Let the good in and let go of the things that aren’t working for you. Maybe you need a social media detox, or to take a good look at your relationship/friendships? We could really benefit by surrounding ourselves with people who genuinely love us for who we are, support us and genuinely care about us. On a lighter note you might like to clear the clutter. Get rid of the messiness, the paper piles, the out of date food in the pantry, the clothes you never wear…Space feels good. And the mind calms with the less clutter there is.

Routines.

I love routines and rituals. They help set me up for a good day. They are habit and they are the non-negotiable parts of my day, the stuff that I enjoy and I know makes me feel good. It’s simple and takes out hundreds of decisions every day that are unnecessary and can zap time and energy.
Engage your ‘Dream Team’. Lean in and lean on your support network….partner, family, friends. Call on your tribe. There is no beating authentic connection and sharing quality time with the people you love. A walk, a coffee, a hug, a chat, a cry or a laugh with them can be the greatest lift.

Plan a Break.

Everybody needs a little time away. Getting away from the everyday norm is essential for our coping, our health and wellbeing. If you have a family, you know that the time you have away on a holiday with them is always amazing as the focus is on enjoying the time together with no other distractions. Whether it is a girls weekend away or a longer holiday get it in the diary so you can have it to look forward to.

Now not for a second am I suggesting we all quit our jobs and spend our days meditating and sipping on green juice. For those of you that know me know I am driven, have a full life and love to embrace people, good times and new opportunities. What I am talking about is to stop needing everything to be bigger and better. Simplify, slow down and realign to create your own calm and happy place.

If you are over it and overwhelmed and stuck in a fog, it’s okay, there is another way. The reality is it starts with awareness and then small, deliberate, intentional steps. Start with focusing on what matters most to you…

If you know you need to make some changes but don’t know where to start, connect with me here for a complimentary ‘check in’ and let’s work out a plan together. Let me support you to connect more deeply, breathe more freely and live more simply.

Are you an ‘All or Nothing’ person?

Are you an ‘All or Nothing’ person? You either do something perfectly, or not at all?

The problem with ‘All or Nothing’ thinking is that either you’re all – or you’re nothing. There is no in-between. This approach to life can really stifle our happiness and fulfilment and tends to explode into self -criticism and feelings of hopelessness.

Letting go of extremes can really improve your health and wellness.

I get it. It can be challenging to always eat well, diligently exercise, rest enough…add this to the every-day responsibilities of working, managing a home, giving to relationships, contributing to society and being a decent human…it can be overwhelming and exhausting.

‘All or Nothing’ people swing between both ends of the extremes:

  • They do restrictive diets to punish themselves after indulging on a holiday.
  • They swear off all alcohol for ‘Feb Fast’ or ‘Ocsober’ only to participate in huge drinking sessions for the remainder of the year.
  • After having a row of chocolate they think, “Oh well I’ve blown it”, and so decide to eat the entire block.
  • They sign up for 30 days of yoga in a row to make up for 3 months of complete inactivity.
  • They do a green juice cleanse for a week after a weekend of indulgence and binging.

If we embraced moderation a little more in our lives we wouldn’t feel the need to turn to extreme weight loss challenges, diets and ‘detoxes’ to make up for our lifestyle.

So you miss a workout one morning because you have to be at work early or you have a row of chocolate after dinner. The thing is, missing a workout or having a piece of cake or chocolate doesn’t mean you’ve blown your whole regime. Being affected by life’s little bumps doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

So many clients I see are stuck in this ‘All or Nothing’ cycle. This idea that if something is not done perfectly then the pursuit is useless.

Maybe you or someone you know is like this…Before they (re)start their new diet the pantry gets cleaned out, they eat a few last-hurrah meals, drink a few last–hurrah wines. A new exercise regime may start with the same sort of enthusiasm, new active-wear and renewed promises to self of daily workouts. But if you are pressuring yourself to be perfect, it won’t be long until you decide you’re weak or that your life/family/job/whatever is conspiring to keep you out of shape. And then, you give up. You quit!

Whilst these intentions are great and we need to be scheduling time for intentional exercise and paying attention to the quality and quantity of food we eat, this ‘All or Nothing’ approach sets the bar so high that it can never be reached and in doing so, we set ourselves up to fail. Cue feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, restriction and feelings of hopelessness!

We need to be a little bit flexible, especially at the beginning of a lifestyle change. Yes, it’s important to make a plan and do your best to stick with it. But if you do stumble, dust yourself off. Life happens…carry on. A slip up does not need to be the undoing of our health. It is just a tiny part of the big picture.

It really is about time we start being a little kinder to ourselves for the sake of our health. Time we embraced a little more moderation instead of guiltily swinging between ‘All or Nothing’ extremes. I provide guidance towards health and lifestyle solutions for busy women. If you would like some support towards making some tweaks toward a sustainable and balanced wellness plan then contact me. I would love to help you find what feels right for you.

Why Diets Don’t Work.

This might seem a pretty harsh statement, but dieting just doesn’t work. In-fact it can do more harm than good. This might be hard to hear, particularly when you might have been hoping for a ‘quick fix,’ desperate to achieve rapid weight loss and fit into those skinny jeans!

There are so many conflicting messages about food; what we should eat, what we shouldn’t and it is easy to feel confused and overwhelmed. We know we need to eat fresh and nutritious ingredients, we know we should eat often, avoid sugar and processed foods and drink plenty of water. But every day there seems to be a new health food, miracle ingredient or superfood breakthrough that makes us wonder if we should give it a try…just in case!

Let’s Take a Look at What’s Out There.

Paleo Diet.

This diet essentially excludes all grains, starchy vegetables and dairy. Its premise is that we should eat like cave men did and not eat any processed food. This high-protein diet will supply you with essential fatty acids, dietary fibre, antioxidants and important vitamins and minerals. However why give up wonderfully nutritious foods such as beans, quinoa, wholegrain bread and yoghurt? It is restrictive and cuts out some major food groups, so it may be difficult to maintain long term for the average person.

Sugar-Free Diet.

This diet involves removing all sugar from the diet including fructose sugar found in fruits, some starchy vegetables and honey. Not only can this diet be hard to maintain, but by removing fruit from the diet altogether reduces our vitamin and mineral intake and can increase the development of constipation. A more balanced approach which is less extreme is where we cut out fruit juices, refined sugars and processed food from our diets. This is a positive step towards good health.

Low-Carb Diet.

In more recent times carbs have got a really bad rap. A low-carb or no-carb diet involves eating high amounts of protein and cutting out carbohydrates. This diet will often result in short term weight loss. However, our bodies need a certain amount of complex carbohydrates to function properly. Diets that are too low in carbohydrates can leave you feeling fatigued and moody. This happens because carbohydrates are the body’s preferred form of fuel needed for immediate energy (particularly for the nervous system). Additionally, carbohydrates stimulate the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which helps boost mood. A healthy eating plan includes balanced amounts of protein, fat and carbohydrates in a portion controlled manner to ensure no major food group is eliminated and health is not put at risk.

5:2 Diet.

This involves eating whatever you choose, followed by two days of fasting (reducing your kilojoule intake dramatically to 2090KJ for women and 2500 for men) Intermittent fasting can be quite a natural way to eat for some people, however this way of eating teaches us nothing about how to eat a healthy, balanced diet, not to mention fasting for two out of seven days in the week!

Shake Diet.

This diet involves replacing one or more meals with a low-calorie, high protein shake. Although this diet will result in short-term weight loss, it is not sustainable and in the long-term can quickly result in regaining lost weight once normal eating resumes.

Alkaline Diet.

This involves eating a lot of alkaline-promoting foods such as fruit, vegetables, soy beans and lentils, and avoiding acid-causing food. Acidity has been attributed to the development of some chronic diseases. Acidic foods include dairy, eggs, meat, grains and some fruit and vegetables. The issue with this diet is that it excludes major food groups and restricts a lot of protein rich foods that help us stay fuller for longer and balances our blood sugar levels.

Calorie Counting.

This diet is dramatically reducing calorie intake. Whilst I’m all for cutting out empty calories from high sugar and processed food, it’s important to keep in mind that our body needs a certain number of calories each day just to maintain normal metabolic functioning. Every system in our body require calories to work properly. If you drastically cut calories (as people often do when they diet) your body thinks it’s starving and slows your metabolism because it’s trying to conserve energy. Then, as you return to your old eating habits which you inevitably do because eating like a bird is not sustainable, the weight can quickly pile back on.

Why Dieting Fails.

There are so many fad diets out there that report amazing results, but these claims are usually quite misleading. The main problem with diets is that many simply don’t work long-term. People on fad diets often find that they achieve some immediate weight loss but can’t stick with the diet for a long period of time. This is likely due to the fact that many diets aren’t realistic, are too restrictive, too costly, too complicated, or too inconvenient to maintain. Whilst there is no one type of diet that suits everyone, the best diet is the one you are not on.

We need to reconsider the way we think about food. Rather than thinking about temporarily going on some hot new diet to shed excess weight or achieve some other aspect of wellness, we should be thinking about making achievable, realistic changes that we can sustain for a lifetime.

Help is here!

So the first step towards permanent healthy weight, somewhat ironically, is to lose the diet and the diet mindset. Instead, think about a healthy eating plan that you could live with and enjoy for life.

If you would like some help creating an eating plan that works for you and is both sustainable and enjoyable please reach out. I would love to help work towards a healthier you. http://www.chasingsunrise.com.au/contact/